I'll try to be brief. I've posted before but not for a couple of years. My ex partner (of three years) has never paid any kind of child support and has now withdrawn his promise of paying our children's nursery fees leaving me in a really difficult financial situation. After a really tough few years I'm starting to feel that life is getting back on track but the ongoing stress and tension between us still makes things very difficult. He refuses to have any of our four children at his flat, always comes to my house, expects to eat with us, settles himself on the sofa and wants things to be just like they were. I've always been to scared to contact the CSA due to the many volatile incidents that have gone on but promised myself that if he let me down with the nursery fees then I would. Of course, that day has come and now I'm still hesitating for fear of how he'll react. I've always found setting boundaries hard, am getting better but really I want to have as minimal contact with him as possible...I want him to have a great relationship with his children but am so fed up of having him at the house for hours at a time and the tense atmosphere is really starting to affect our eldest son.
I would like to say that he has to come and pick the children up and take them out but he doesn't drive, it's freezing cold and we have three year old triplets so getting anywhere isn't always easy. How can I do the best thing for the children and encourage a good relationship with their dad but also do what's right for me and distance myself from him as much as possible. Another added complication is that he still hasn't accepted that our relationship is over and I feel very suffocated by that.
I've not been very clear on what I'm asking you all! I guess the whole CSA thing, do I contact them and how do I make that final break..do I have to spend hours every week with for the sake of the children??
Thank you!