Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Contact in the school holidays

11 replies

browniebear · 27/02/2013 21:00

Just wondering what everyone does regarding contact with the ex in the school holidays?
I'm trying to come up with some kind of plan for what will happen when DC's are off school and wondered what was 'normal'.
2 DC's 8 and nearly 3.
They go to their dads for Saturday nights at the moment, I was thinking of a kind of split week so if its half term and they're off for a week they would be with him fri night to Tuesday and with me the rest of the week. No ideas for what to do in the summer holidays.
We both work but I'm only part time, although I work some weekdays and every other weekend an he works mon-sat.
Ex h is not happy with this idea but can't really come up with a better suggestion.
What's everyone else's experiences?
TIA

OP posts:
Skyebluesapphire · 27/02/2013 21:04

My XH refused to have DD at all in the holidays last year. This year he has agreed to have her on a Monday in the holidays when it is his weekend. (Has EOW access).

Some fathers actually like to have their children in the holidays apparently, but not DD's ....

Fleecyslippers · 27/02/2013 21:16

Why isn't he happy? Does he want more or less contact?

balia · 27/02/2013 21:17

After many years, DH has finally got a court order so he can have half the holidays with his son; half of half terms handover Wednesdays, a week at Easter, two weeks together in the summer and an extra week. BUT he is a teacher so is actually able to spend all of that time with DSS, rather than using childcare/family etc.

Could you use mediation to sort it out if he isn't happy?

raenbow · 27/02/2013 21:19

We are just ironing out our arrangements but that's basically what we do. at Easter will do a week each from the Friday night till following friday to include his weekend.
Summer hols we are planning 3 weeks each, just got to sort out how we are going to do this ie; 3 weeks together ( which I',m not keen on, as I have never been away from the kids for more than 3 nights and that was only half term last week!! Can't imagine 3 whole weeks without them!) Maybe 2 weeks and a week, any suggestions here also appreciated! Smile

MirandaWest · 27/02/2013 21:21

As my XH works full time and I don't then generally I have the DC more in the holidays. It would be silly IMO for him to have them more but them to need to go to holiday club.We don't have any strict access arrangements - he generally has them every other weekend and a night in the week but we are both flexible where necessary. At Christmas and Easter he probably has them about four or five nights plus another weekend or so.

MirandaWest · 27/02/2013 21:24

In the summer holidays this year I am taking them away for 2 weeks but XH is going to come up for a night or so during that. I think it's unlikely there will be an equal split of time as he doesn't have sufficient holiday to take for that but they will see him quite a lot I am
sure.

shrimponastick · 27/02/2013 21:28

Everyone does it differently.

My dn spends a lot of the school hols with his father.

However my xp has never had DS over and above the alternate weekends,so in the school hols DS is with me all the time. DS is now 15, so things are unlikely to improve...

Original poster
browniebear · 27/02/2013 21:30

He's not happy because he doesn't want to take time off work, it already feels like I force him into having them one night a week. The time he has them has got less and less since we split.
As I only started work in December it hasn't been a problem for me to have them as up until then I was at home anyway so I didn't think about it but now that it's going to cost me £120 a week for them to go to childminder I'm panicking that I'm going to work for nothing.
I can book time off obviously but not all the holidays and I don't see why he can't use some of his.
I wouldn't mind him having them for a week and maybe even take them on holiday like I'm planning to but it won't happen

OP posts:
Original poster
browniebear · 27/02/2013 21:33

raenbow
I don't think I'd be too keen on a whole 3 weeks without them either. A week at a time sounds much better

OP posts:
Original poster
browniebear · 27/02/2013 21:35

I suggested mediation but he won't pay for it

OP posts:
shrimponastick · 28/02/2013 15:14

brownie - it's the same here. I gave up badgering him to have DS more often for holidays/christmas etc. as I just wasnt' getting anywhere.

My attitude nowadays is that it is his loss. He is the one missing out. The DC will be fine with you and any other people you share the holidays with .

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread