Can you be EA without knowing it?

[Skillbo]

Am recently separated from my husband and he is basically saying that i belittled him and made his life a misery, especially over the last year

I always look at the threads on here where people are leaving EA relationships and it seems that it is widely acknowledged that the abuser knows - at least to some extent - what they are doing.

I am horrified that my husband feels like this and so am now trying to analyse myself a bit (am booking into some individual counselling as well) but i wonder if i am EA, but without knowing it. I never tried to isolate him or remove his friends which i know is kind of the start but some of the things he's shouting at me make me wonder...

Would appreciate any viewpoints but hopefully not a bashing as am feeling quite vulnerable!

Isn't this the one who left very suddenly saying that he didn't love you, but hasn't yet come clean that he's been having an affair?

I would think his affair had more to do with why he left. If he'd thought you'd been emotionally abusive, he would have told you about his unhappiness several times before leaving, pointing out that he was unhappy enough to consider ending the relationship. I don't suppose he mentioned the words emotional abuse - or in fact anything much at all - before he left, did he?

Beware manipulative characters who look to blame people for their own behaviour.