H and I have been three times so far. Took ages to find a counsellor that could fit us in in the evenings but it seems he's a good'un.
I can't beleive how simply talking it out, and being gently guided by some otherwise perfectly ordinary bloke, can result in so much clarity.
We've hardly touched on the affair - by my desire as much as anyone else's. I had the chance to have a bit of a rant last week but I didn't want to dwell on it. We've already talked through so much of it again and again already - MC was supposed to be about what lead up to it.
We've managed to map out the history of our relationship - it's ups and downs, and what contributed to them. All my resentment, all his insecurities, all the things we should have said but didn't, all the things we should have done but didn't. And all the things we both did right and all the wonderful years - that far outweigh the crappy years and the things we said and did wrong. We've played with plastic figures to recreate the way we both seperately see our family dynamic - and just how much DS2 has impacted us and the rest of the family.
Last night he made up both write a list of the things we liked and admired about each other. H's list was such an eye-opener - all the things he said were the things he's always said (mostly) but I have NEVER really heard him before. In 30 years I haven't heard or beleived how much he loves me. Until now. What an idiot.
Feel so good (for now!)
Having 2 weeks off - it's exhausting for both of us. But back again in March.
I'm still not 100% sure I want to stay in this marriage, but beginning to see the wood for the trees now.
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Relationship Counselling was amazing!
5 replies
Ormiriathomimus · 20/02/2013 12:59
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