Am looking for some advice. I was estranged from my mother and one of my sisters for almost 4 years. Recently my mother has been making overtures towards rekindling our relationship.
Some issues I have that have never been addressed-
She left my dad because he was violent to her. Completely understandable but she then spent all our childhoods telling us what a horrible person he was and how it would really hurt her if we continued a relationship with him. So I barely know my father.
She left my sister and I living with our grandparents while she moved in with our stepdad-whom we both hated. Her reasoning for this was because we didnt like him
and she didnt want to disrupt our lives.
Our stepdad was physically and emotionally abusive to us both. He was also overtly sexual towards me when I was a teenager although I am unsure it could be classed as actual sexual abuse.
She blamed all the problems she had with my stepdad-he was an alcoholic and I believe a sociopath-on me Social services became involved and she told them I was jealous and spoilt.
She left my sister and I with our grandparents when our baby sister-stepdads dc-was 3 months old. They sold their house and we did not know where she was for 3 months.
She spent my teenage years telling me I needed to lose weight-I didnt and I was boderline ed-and even now she has a real hatred of fat people.
Now as I say we have been estranged-huge family fall-out re an inheritence-but has been making overtures to me.I dont want to stop her from seeing kids as they adore her but I dont want to allow her to let me feel crap about myself again. Any advice?
I have tried to confront her over her behaviour btw and she blames it on the fact that she was too young to have kids/be married,my gps were too controlling and she had terrible pnd.
Sorry its so long!