Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

How would you feel

16 replies

Stelmosfire · 18/02/2013 10:57

If your BF gave you an engagement ring and there was no hallmark. When asked about it he insists it is 18crt gold. I told him he,d been had. Am I correct in thinking all gold has to be hallmarked?

OP posts:

marriednotdead · 18/02/2013 11:13

All genuine gold and silver jewellery in the UK is hallmarked by the Assay office.

One of you is being/has been conned.

Buzzardbird · 18/02/2013 11:21

If he bought it in another country it may not be hallmarked.

tethersend · 18/02/2013 11:25

Congratulations.

Cabrinha · 18/02/2013 11:31

Nice reaction to a proposal! Don't think I ever checked mine...

FlatsInDagenham · 18/02/2013 11:33

I wouldn't give a shiny shit whether the ring was 18c gold or £18.50 off dodgy derek in the market. If I wanted to marry the bloke, it's all good.

I would mind being lied to though.

HousewifeFromHeaven · 18/02/2013 11:36

I agree with dagenham

I have an 18ct ring and it isn't hall marked because I've had it resized so much. Perhaps it's second hand?

kalidanger · 18/02/2013 11:36

Probably wouldn't be my first thought to check the hallmark.....unless I wasn't entirely 100% on the whole thing/him to start with

BertieBotts · 18/02/2013 11:40

I've not checked or asked about mine. I'm not bothered about the ring...

Original poster

Stelmosfire · 18/02/2013 11:44

It wasn't the first thing I checked, I've had it months but my finger was I funny colour so then I checked for hallmark. Ring is a bit dirty inside where it has ridges in the metal so may just be from that

It has been resized apparently so that may be why there's no mark?

Also it's not the fact it may not be real that bothers me. I wouldn't care if he,d just said look I don't have much cash at the moment but I love you. It's the fact he may have lied. But maybe it's male pride and all that?

OP posts:

flurp · 18/02/2013 11:45

I would know instantly because my finger would go green and itchy!!
Does it really matter though? Do you like the ring? Do you like him?
Why would he pretend? Is he a bit hard up or is he just tight?

BertieBotts · 18/02/2013 11:46

Ah I see. Fair enough. I'd be bothered about lying too.

Buzzardbird · 18/02/2013 11:47

Only the lying part matters really. You can't really marry someone who lies to you about the ring.

Tell him you are getting it valued for the house insurance and see if he panics.

lynniep · 18/02/2013 11:49

Actually my wedding ring is not hallmarked. The company who I bought it from said it couldnt be hallmarked in time for the date I needed it, but that I could return it after the event and have it hallmarked. I never bothered as it was only a cheap one ( I think it cost me 50 quid) but its a white gold band 18 ct

Original poster

Stelmosfire · 18/02/2013 11:55

Yes I really like the ring and yes he is quite hard up for cash most of the time.

Occasionally when he does have some spare he likes to spend it so I don't really think he's tight.

OP posts:

GingerJulep · 18/02/2013 13:00

People are funny about rings.

I have palladium ones (because I like the fact they are light and sliver all the way through rather than heavier platinum or white gold (which is gold coloured in the middle)). But one of my best friends seriously thought about lying to everyone that hers was platinum (what she would have like for whatever reason) rather than palladium until she realised that OH and I (who probably have a reasonably greater joint income) had chosen palladium because it was what we wanted.

If you like the ring and the man but can't help curiosity pop down to a jewellers to have it 'cleaned' (sound like maybe it needs it anyway?) and ask them whilst you're there.

What would you hope/expect him to do if you found out that either

he'd lied to you to make your ring feel more special
he'd been lied to by whoever he bought/inherited it from?

My OH's rings (engagement and wedding) are both 18ct but TBH it doesn't seem as common these days because it is quite a soft metal so not always as practical, especially if there is any kind of stone or what have you set in. Both his old vintage signet ring, which has been resized, and his new wedding band are hall marked but as others have said that only applies to British gold.

ThePinkOcelot · 18/02/2013 13:14

My engagement ring isn;t hallmarked. It is second hand and I had to have it resized, so that is probably how. I chose it and I love it.
TBH, I don;t think it matters that it isn't hallmarked. He may have lied, however I think its more a little fib than a lie, if it isn't 18 ct. He may be embarrassed that he couldn't afford an expensive ring. Or.. could be he isn't lying at all and that is what he's been told.
FWIW, I often have to take my rings off as my finger gets itchy and sore underneath. I think its because I wear 3 rings and musn't always dry underneath properly so it goes scabby.
BTW, congrats on your engagement!

Flip