Help!

[Croyde]

I will try to keep this brief... I am due to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this June. Last August I went on holiday with my husband, who I have always trusted implicitly. We went on this holiday just after I had completed chemo and radiotherapy for breast cancer. We met a couple who lived a long way from us. We spent a lot of time with them and was not unduly concerned when my husband and her played cards every day! I have since found out just after Xmas that they had been sending texts and talking on the phone. Then he admitted he had met her for a coffee! I was devastated,even more so when he admitted he didn't know what he wanted. I have just returned from a holiday abroad with my parents. My husband told me while I was away he wanted to be with me. So I was prepared to move on. Since I have returned, he has admitted he met her for a weekend last October and they slept together in the same bed but nothing happened! And now today, admitted he went all the way to Glasgow to meet her! I love him but feel totally helpless now and feel like walking away! Apparently it's my fault he did it! Any advice please!

Since I have returned, he has admitted he met her for a weekend last October and they slept together in the same bed but nothing happened

There is no way you believe this, is there.

Not your fault. His fault. Thats all. Much wiser heads than mine will be along soon.

Ignoring whether anything 'happened', what definitely did happen was he lied to you and is now telling you it's your fault! Are there any other bomb shells waiting for you? I don't understand why this would all come out slowly rather than in a 'big talk' as it sounds like he had ample opportunity. I'm afraid it is that which would make me not trust him rather than it actually happening (and yes I know that makes me silly).

It really isn't your fault if you have loved and trusted your husband for 25 years and he has chosen to let you down.

Also, what has happened to her husband?

I would think he's been having an affair with her since August and I'm surprised you've been letting him call all the shots up to now about whether he wants to stay in your relationship. He's still lying to you, that's for sure. They have had sex.

How the hell this can be your fault though is laughable if it wasn't so sickening a thing to say to a woman who's battled cancer and has been his partner for nearly 25 years.

Your best bet is to tell him that the only people to blame are him and OW and that you aren't stupid, you know they've had a sexual affair and this final insult to your intelligence has earned him the order of the boot.

Tell him you don't want him any more.

Thanks for all your advice, certainly given me food for thought! Any more advice greatly appreciated :) xx

You do need to hear the truth from DH, not read between the lines. 25 years of marriage deserves better. I feel for you.