How do I move on from divorce?

[Dizzykizzy]

I left my XH over a year ago. He wouldn't try to understand, it got very complicated and emotionally traumatic. I think I have had a breakdown but I've fought it every step of the way.

We are divorced now and are starting to come out the other side. I'm trying to sell the house and then our financial ties will be cut. He will always be a big part of my DCs lives so I still have to deal with him. And he uses the childrens maintenance as a way of control as I have to practically beg for it every month.

But I have so much to look forward to without him in my life.

The problem is that I know the futures bright. I have a great plan and I have the freedom to be who I am now but I just can't get to it. I've come down with flu so I'm trying to recover but I feel like I'm never going to get to the end of this misery. I really do want my new life but even now, I feel sad at what I've lost and somehow want it back. Even though it was the most debilitating and unfair relationship.

Well done for coming so far Dizzy :)

Have you been to see the doctor either about your suspected breakdown or how you feel now, or have you ever had depression that you know of?

Also contact the CSA with regard to the maintenance, they deal with it all, including non payment so you would not have to ask him for it.

I think its normal to be sad at what might have been, nobody gets married thinking it will end. Just remember that you haven't lost anything, you left him for a reason & this is in no way a failure of yours.

Thanks OTM. The idea of a family life was very important to me and I stayed with him for a long time because I didn't want to give it up. I miss it and I miss the way it motivated me and I'm lost without it.

My DD spends a lot of time out of the house and so most of the time it's just me and DS. He's great but he doesn't want me fussing over him all the time. When they stay with their Dad I get so lonely and I get snappy and bad tempered. I'm not a nice person sometimes.