Secrets

[INeverFinishAnythi]

Are you good at keeping secrets? Tell me how? I've been told something I don't want to or need to know and am going to try my utmost to never breathe a word, even though it will be incredibly difficult. What do you do, when you know something you wish you didn't?

Depends.

If it is something that will ultimately hurt someone if it comes out, then I would refuse to keep the secret. I would tell the person that I wont actively tell anyone but if I am asked then I wont lie about what I know. Why should you have that burden?

If its illegal then I would report it as appropriate.

After mentally playing with it for while, I stop thinking about it and I forget it. When it comes to matters told to me in confidence I'm a veritable black hole and more reliable at keeping my mouth shut than any priest who hears confessions.

My memory is that bad I usually forget a secret the day after I'm told if - I'm the best person to tell secrets to ever

Seriously though, fight the urge for a week or so and the drama and excitement of hearing it will die down and you'll probably lose the urge to spill it.

I am nosey though - what is this secret. Feel free to spill it on here rather than in RL

Come on op, spill the beans...what's the secret. You can tell us.

Perhaps it depends upon the secret you are asked to keep. I know a secret about a friend which only one other person knows. I would never ever tell anyone else because it could seriously affect my friend and her family, and because I know that, I don't think about it, and don't ever feel the urge to tell anyone. My friend had this secret for years before she told me, and I know she agonised about letting me know. In a way I feel honoured that she trusted me enough to tell me.

99 times out of 100 it's in one ear and out the other where I'm concerned :) I've been told all kinds of crazy stuff in the past of absolutely no interest to me but 'sworn to secrecy' (yawn). On the one time out of a hundred it's something I really think ought to get passed on or acted upon however, I have no problems with doing that as well. If someone wants things really kept secret they shouldn't tell anyone IMHO.

I seem to be keeper of secrets in my lie and it is so difficult. One biggie to do with work and huge impact on the business and l have been told by one partner that the business relationship is over and what he is going to do. The other partner will be blindsided.
I feel guilt having this knowledge. I think it was unfair to have involved me

You tell us, everything, let us be judge and jury and act accordingly - isn't that what always happens?

Doha, who is your loyalty to in the partnership? Do you think the other partner deserves to know?

OP, is there anyone you can tell, eg your mum, whom you can trust not to tell?

I've been given this burden more times than I've wanted and so now I don't make promises I might not want to keep. I tend to think that sharing a secret with someone who's going to be troubled by it is just selfishness. By that token though I've never had any trouble keeping it to myself because the same would apply. If I shared it with someone else to relieve my burden, that would be selfish as well as a breach of confidentiality. By that though I mean people who would be unaffected (e.g. other uninvolved friends, my husband). What used to kill in the past was keeping secrets from the person who would be affected and I came to resent that.

As I've got older, I've drawn some boundaries around this. I'm not comfortable keeping secrets if the information would dramatically alter someone's life or health if the truth were to remain hidden so if a friend says "Can you promise to keep a secret if I tell you something?" I say "No, not without knowing what it is" because that's the truth. It puts me back in control of the information and gives the other person the choice about whether to tell me.

I think my loyalty lies with the business and not one individual partner but 1st partner has asked me to go with him to his new business--he needs to have a solid business plan in place with a team to win back the contract (wish l could spill all but l would out myself). I am having sleepless nights as l have an equal amount of loyalty to both partners and there is so much trouble ahead l don't want involved in but cannot help but be involved.
Does the other partner deserve to know--oh yes but l know there is no love lost and there is a huge back story (great book material) so if the situation was reversed he would have no hesitation in acting the same way.
I am just piggy in the middle and wish l didn't know but currently hiding my head in the sand.