I could cry with frustration

[Nobabieshere]

Bit of background, we already have dd (5) and for the past few years dh has said he would like another. I stopped taking the pill but apart from that we hadn't been actively trying as such. The last few months I have started temping as I was worried the pill might have messed up ovulation but all seems ok.

The issue I have is dh just is unable to perform at the times I need him to (if we are ever going to conceive). He thinks it is just the perceived pressure that is causing this and to try and help he has started taking cialis. However, now although he is able to do the deed so to speak, he can't finish. Again he is saying he is over thinking things. I am finding this very frustrating though I am trying my best not to show this and to be supportive, I am running out of ideas.

I feel like I've had the thought of having another dc playing in my mind for ages now, and it is making me not do things I ordinarily would (eg don't want to change jobs incase I get pg). Has anyone had a similar experience or could offer any advice? It is too private to speak to anyone irl (as odd as that sounds whilst on Internet!).

I think what a doctor would say to you both is to stop actively ttc. You say you're not but if you refer to him 'performing at the times I need him to' then that implies there is some kind of schedule to all this. Go back to 'making love' rather than 'performing' and put the charts (even if they're only mental ones) well away.

I think you're definitely right about the schedule. After 3 years of taking a relaxed approach about it, and nothing happening it is difficult.

But if nothing happens, that's just the way it goes isn't it? Nothing is definitely going to happen at the moment because your DH is too stressed to ejaculate. 'Difficult' is in the eye of the beholder

Dh and I were TTC since my mmc in June last year. Last cycle was my first month really trying not to think about ovu signs ect. I didn't tell dh when I was ovulating and i got my bfp and I am now 6 weeks.

It's hard to not think about it, I know that, but pressure to perform can really cause issues.

Although, to look at it another way, there is no harm you being aware of when you are ovulating, as that is after all when you have the best chance of success, the trick is not letting your DH know, so he doesn't feel under pressure. Good luck, it is horrendously frustrating I know!