Sat in on my own crying about our relationship :(

[DazedAndConfused42]

DP has gone out to work do, he wanted me to come but no babysitter so... here i am. we have had some issues lately and it's getting to the point where i don't know how much longer i can take it. its gotten to the point where i feel weird just giving him a hug sometimes and i feel like i've lost a lot of trust in himm recently for various reasons. Our DD is only 1 and we were only together for little over a year before i got pregnant.
our relationship until that point was amazing, the best ever ever ever. which makes me wonder what the fudge has happened and has it gone beyond repair or not. i really don't know. i can't bear to think of life without him but at the same time i find myself constantly thinking about ex's and how my life could have been different.
until about 6 months ago i was convinced i was going to spend my life with DP but now i'm not so sure. sorry if i sound vague or am waffling, i think i just need to talk to someone and i ended up here again!

I understand/identify with much of what you're saying- personally I think going from a couple to a parents is a massive change- and one that I personally wasn't ready for.

You mention trust issues- why don't you trust him?
Are you getting time alone together? Are there babysitters you could use at other times?
Honestly- it took over a year for our relationship to get into a 'new groove' after our dd1, then at 14 months we fell pregnant again. Dd2 now 7 months and things still hard but getting better.

Also....the fact he wanted you to go with him is a good sign......

we are getting more time alone together now that DD is no longer breastfed and sleeps well. we have been out twice in the last few weeks, which is nice. we seem to get on very well when we're out together, the stress always seems to happen when we're at home.
trust wise, its due to him having a very short fuse. he never used to have a short fuse, him getting angry or snapping has only occurred since DD was born. i can understand he is stressed but who isn't?! i keep seeing that he seems incapable of dealing with certain things that he should be able to deal with and i deal with every day, eg. DD crying or demanding my attention.
he is trying to calm it down, but i feel like i'm treading on eggshells with him a lot of the time. i never thought i would feel like this around him :(

I too sympathise and have been where you are.
Believe me unless you know there is something drastically wrong there is nothing to upset yourself about.
It is awful what you are going through, so frustrating too. I know where you are coming from with the vagueness and honestly that points to there being nothing major.
Mammadigging is completely right it took us ages to get back on track again, its a huge adjustment for you both.

Talk to him and be open about your feelings, it may also be a good idea to check with your gp about pnd, it can appear out of the blue, for no apparent reason.

Sending you massive hugs and if its any consolation at all, it will get better.

Hugs sweet.

Ive just left my dp of 3 years we have a 21 month old ds - things werent right after ds was born and dp walked in and out of our lifes but this time il told him to leave and he has, i know how you feel i didnt even want dp in our house anymore and wished he could live at work!! Dp is now on facebook messaging one of his ex's from a while ago its only been a week since he left...

Talk to him, tell him your feelings ..... hope things get better!

i know i need to speak with him properly, it just seems like we never get the time. sometimes i feel like i can't talk to him any more in case he loses his rag, which isn't good obviously. i don't know what to do. i never thought i'd be in this situation again. i am struggling to cope with the idea of being a single mum, even though i know i'd have loads of support from family.
i always wanted us to be this happy, relaxed, strong family. but things haven't really ended up that way.

You wanted exactly what i wanted sweet, the little family unit.... its sad isnt it but if its not right its not right. Dp used to loose his rag when i tried to talk to him aswell ended up in hospital at one point... think long and hard about what you want

thank you, i have just read your original thread and your exP sounds awful! my DP is not violent towards me or DD and i doubt he ever would be, he just has a temper. has been known to chuck stuff about on occasion though. i think that is my main issue. i can't be with an aggressive man. he has been very good for the last 2 weeks. only shouted once and immediately apologised. he thinks he is doing better than he is though :/
i think/hope he knows that if he is aggressive again i will just leave, that's that.

i think i am going to go to bed and chill with a book now, try and take my mind of stuff. will catch up tomorrow.
well done for being brave and kicking out your ex! good luck, i'm sure you will be much happier with out him :)

enjoy your book and try and chill out think things throught xx

thank you xxxx