MN relationships board, You have served me well....

[irrationalme]

reading, lurking and posting over the last three years has given me strength, insight and assisted me in raising my standards.

As a consequence, I am in a good place in my life

A big thank you to all

:) so glad to hear that!

Me too OP, I have learnt so much from here.

me too, I'd never heard of gaslighting, or cocklodging, but in hindsight I can see that I've experienced both!
I've also read some useful books which were mentioned on here

Great stuff OP

Whoo and yay to you!

Three years on MN Relationships serves me every day: I carry around with me this wealth of experience and no-nonsense advice that comes from thousands of women.

It helped me swerve an emotional affair a couple months ago, that "old" me would have walked straight into.

Not to mention getting me out of (and overcoming the aftermath of) a violent and abusive marriage.

And I can deal with RL people's issues with greater wisdom and insight.

It really is like expanding your own wealth of experience, to include the experiences of many others, and intimately understanding those experiences even though they aren't your own. A brilliant hive mind.

Same here. It's helped me more than any amount of counselling in the past, enabled me to build a better relationship with DC, understand my past choices and really raise my standards.

Thank you all.

I think it's interesting that it's helped you more than counselling Juliette!

I sometimes wonder if reading the relationships board has given me a jaundiced view of relationships...or has it actually given me a more realistic view

I agree about the raising of standards.
Whenever I'm feeling a bit about being single I nip in here and remember I'd much rather be single than in a shitty trust less relationship. Is that bad? I feel sad for the women/men in those awful situations but it makes me feel proud that I got out and am now much happier.

Well, hmmmm, I have found the relationships board a bit of a mixed bag. Yes, there are some lovely sane posters on here who provide a help and hand holding with great sensitivity to total strangers. However there also seem to be a number of very bitter women on here whose perspective has been coloured by their own bad experiences.

I posted on here asking for help when my DH had an affair. I was absolutely horrified by the bile and vitriol heaped upon my DH. I set out the facts, and yes, he isn't proud of what he did, but it wasn't all black and white. I was told to stop flogging the dead horse that was my marriage, to get myself some self respect yada yada yada. The comments were cruel and insulting to me at a time when I was hurting and needing support.

My marriage is now stronger than it has ever been, and my DH has proven himself 100 times over. I am proud of the way I dealt with things and thankful I didn't follow the advice I received on here.

Name changed after the slating I got first time round, and now I try to come onto the affair threads to give a slightly less extreme view where I think the facts point to a situation similar to the one I lived through. I'm no guru, but I do appreciate that not every man (or woman) who cheats is a serial bastard, and not every OW is a heartless harlot.