So two weeks ago I find out DP (12 years together) has been having an affair. Started around 2 years ago with a woman we both knew (slightly older than us, married with 2 adult children and 1 teenage child) but he had more in common with, through a common disability.
This affair has been going on for the past 2 years, first as an EA the culminating to a PA in October last year. I found out through something on the computer, an erotic story they wrote together nearly 2 years ago.
The night I found the story I confronted him and we were having it all out for about 3 hours before he totally broke down and told me about the PA as well. He said all the right things about wanting to make us work etc etc.
For the first week I was really really angry and while trying to keep life normal for our 8yo ds, heated discussions were had (no yelling or anything) but I hardly spoke otherwise and definitely couldn't touch him.
He broke off all contact wiped her from his computer, phone etc. Started to reconnect with us as a family including ds which was nice to see as the OW had obviously taken over his thoughts and moods over the past 2 years ( at the time I thought it was depression)
So anyway last weekend I got past the angry stage and just needed a hug. Which led to sex, and it was really good sex, loving and all that. But a part of me thinks is al going too fast.
I obviously have trust issues still and will do for a while, have to give him credit though he is being totally open about all emails and phone calls/texts. We are together most of the day because of his disability so I can see all.
I suppose what my question is that I am being too forgiving too fast. We are reading Shirley Glasses book Not just Friends together which is helping too. The 10 years previous to the affair we always had great communication ( can't beleive I didn't see the signs)
Thanks for reading this it was very carthartic.