How do I make sure this never happens again?

[Diabolical]

At dinner time I completely lost my temper with DP. It was horrible, I was screeching and manhandled him out of the kitchen, all in front of Ds2 who was crying. Ds1 was in the next room and could obviously hear. He told me later that it made him feel sad.

DP and I have our problems, clearly, but I never want my children to experience that again.

I am extremely frustrated with DP and feel like we bring out the worst in each other.

I'm not making excuses for my behaviour, it was terrible and I am ashamed (I've name changed as I don't want this behaviour to be associated with me).

This is not who I am, I believe in peace not war. This is especially who I don't want to be.

What should I do to ensure this never happens again?

Yes it is difficult.

Psychodynamic counselling is based on psychotherapeutic principles and getting to root causes etc. person centred is also but I think with more emphasis on core beliefs and empowering. I think a person centred approach would suit you. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Thank you Erik, I do appreciate not being judged.

I will look into psychodynamic and person centred counselling.

Erik that is pretty much correct except person centred is concerned with conditions of worth not core beliefs, core beliefs are CBT terminology. It means a very similar thing though. I agree that person centred would be beneficial but most counsellor these days are integrative which means they integrate the 3 main approaches mentioned here. First port of call is probably GP but many NHS trusts don't fund it so might also be worth googling local counselling services that offer reduced rates.