Why are blokes so predictable and crap?!!!

[fooledagaincantbelieveit]

Ok so I posted in here in December about having a fling with a boyfriend from years ago. I'm seperated and he's never been married (though had several long term relationships). He said he had spent years thinking about me, we had a VERY passionate weekend away, he disappeared (lives in Europe and we talk on skype) - I then found out (or so he told me...) he was scared because he liked me so much but realised we could never be together (he has a DD, I have two children, so neither of us would move).

Anyway, we sorted it all out and have been on good terms since December. Problem is now that he has disappeared again - not calling on Skype when he said he would, leaving me waiting, coming up with several excuses for not calling etc. Of course I have realised that he has either

1. got another woman
2. gone off me and is too scared to tell me

But why are blokes so predictable and crap??? Why not just have the guts to tell me? Is it me? Has anyone else got similar experiences? I'm in the process of divorcing my husband (long story - internet sex related) and still hurting from that, however I have vowed NOT to chase after blokes again. So I ignored the email excuse he sent me on Monday (which will have wrongfooted him). Problem is I really want to know WTF is going on???!!!

Please tell me I'm worth more then this!! I don't want to waste any more time on him. Thanks Mumsnetters xxxx

Get this person out of your life and don't let him back into it.

I'd say LTB but he appears to have left you.

I reckon at least half of it is the Y chromosome. That thing is a tricky blighter.

Not all men are like that. There's loads of good ones out there, the hard thing is finding one.

Get rid of this one. He is no good and will only treat you like shit and continue to break your heart.

It did not work out several years ago and not altogether surprisingly he has walked off again. Ex's are ex's often for good reason.

Blokes are not predictable and crap but this man is and so is your soon to be divorced from H. Time to completely reassess your approach when it comes to relationships because what you have tried to date has not worked. Some men smell desperation a mile off; you were probably targetted by this other man for that reason. Do not allow yourself to be so used and abused.

You are worth more than this (you need to believe that though) and would not waste any more time on him.

Work on rebuilding your own self esteem and worth as such men can and do take a lot of time to recover from. Spend a year on your own and no dating for that period of time; work out who you really are and what you want from life.

Hey thanks - this is EXACTLY what I need to hear at the moment!! Gives me strength to see it through. xxx

You KNOW wtf is going on.... he is giving you the runaround isn't he? Why is he doing it? Because he can and because he chooses to. So.. you know all you need to know about twat face... you could, I suppose, listen to his excuses and patch it up again. However, give it a month and you'll be back here again.

Make this the last time. Don't respond to any more messages... after all, no answer is his answer.

Speaking as a man,my speciality is 'avoiding,or running away from reality'....in relationships,I've often 'swept women off their feet' by being 'full on',only to panic/hit a wall...if I think at all,its 'its 'what the hell am I doing?',then I run...

I Havnt read your op just your title.

You may speak about your own 'Bloke' but mine is certainly not preditactable or crap!

What a sexist remark!

I'm a bloke. I've never run. I have more respect for other human beings that that.

From your perspective you had a fling, but I suspect (sorry) that he just thinks you hooked up for ex sex. He enjoyed it, it's done, he has no intention of being available to you. Unless he finds himself horny and with a free weekend in about 18 months' time. All the feelings stuff is likely to be just flannel to get you into bed.

Up to you whether you want to be available for this sort of thing, but I wouldn't be, in your place. Being picked up and tossed aside like this is pretty corrosive tot eh self-esteem.

He's even more predictable because he had done it before.

Not every man is like that, certainly.

But this one is and you should keep him at arms length.

Unless you want the occasional bout of non-commital sex, of course. :)

You don't really want to know what's going on. Just that this is a man you should avoid.

Forget him.. If that was you ignoring him, try to imagine what the kind of things keeping you from contacting him would be as you hover over the keypad but can't press the call button.

He's the past - Forget him!