how to cope with the end of a friendship

[sky99]

to cut a long story short i have a best female friend(i only have about 3 friends) and we used to be extremely close and she was part of out family really....she used to come and stay over and we also used to have girly nights out etc..we were like soul mates in every way!...for the past year my friend has been having an affair with an older man(shes engaged and lives with another man).....

basically now me and my best friend have virtually no relationship anymore as EVERY spare second she has is spent with the secret bloke...if i do see her,it will only be for an hour before she has to rush off back to her blokes.....or they'll visit me together and he'll sit and sulk.....I've tried arranging nights out with just me and her,but he'll turn up and they'll vanish all night leaving me on my own:(

I've come to the conclusion that he's replaced me as her best friend as she obviously doesn't want to spend any time with me whatsoever but its SOOO hard to accept as we've been through a lot together and i already have extremely fragile self esteem as i find it hard to make female friends and have been used a lot in the past....i'm not the kind of person who can live without friends or social interaction but this has totally put me off ever trying again

can anyone give me some advice as i totally cant get it out of my head thinking its my fault as i'm too boring etc etc

I take it you are single? She is in the first flush of a new relationship (putting it aside that she is cheating). Very soon affair will be over or exciting part finished and she will need you as a friend again. She is obviously going through a very selfish stage in her life and it is up to you whether you will be there for her when all the fun is over.
in the meantime spend time with other friends and maybe make some new ones.
good friends are friends whatever the situation.

I can answer this for you. Don't consider it as a lost friendship just because your female best friend is less available. The secret is to have lots of 'best' friends. Friends to dance with, friends to talk to, friends to eat with, friends to shop with. Female friends are bound to want to have boyfriends and some even affairs, but mine always bounce back for advice and a shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough (if I am free). Over the years the frequency comes and goes, but that's life, they aren't married to me and that is how I see it. I feel pleased for them and they know it and always come back with tales to tell. Don't think of giving up on friendships, but have a bit of flexibility in your thinking of what a true friend is, if you want them to be happy it is very likely to involve a bit of romance.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket is my advice.