no sex drive, does it ever return

[NotHerRealname]

Its so annoying I just spent ages bloody typing about this and the connection dropped out so it didn't post argggggg!
To keep it brief then. Absolutely no sex drive. Not masturbated for years. Bf ds once a day if that. No underlying medical condition i am aware of.

Does anyone have any words of comfort ie. Does it get better? Will my sex drive ever come back? Getting pretty fed up and so is Dh!

What contraception are you using? Penny dropped with me that it might be my Implanaon affecting sex drive. had it removed 3 weeks ago and things re starting to return to normal!

Mine went away for quite some time - too tired, too busy, bit fed up with DP and so on, but there are green shoots...
I'd say being a bit happier generally and less ragged and tired has helped.

Thanks Little,I have the mirena at the moment. But really this has been going on for 5 years nearly and i just can't blame anything obvious like contraception iyswim? Its like someone has switched off that part of me. I don't see myself in that way anymore. Its so sad to think the way I feel at the moment I could happily never have sex again. Obviously thats how my body feels, my mind knows that my Dh and I deserve better!
Beamur, how did you achieve happier and less ragged? Need to get me some of that.

My DD is 5...she sleeps more, amuses herself more (so I can actually get boring stuff like housework done). I think I'm feeling past the baby/toddler/small child stage too and it feels like I'm getting myself back more - so perhaps that has something to do with it.
DP and I had a few challenging years when DD was smaller but we seem to be on a more even keel these days.
I'm being more ruthless in making time for myself, I've started going to the gym again, taking time out to read more, go out with friends and such like. I think I've spent the last few years being very immersed in motherhood.

Thanks Beamur, maybe its just a case of waiting a bit longer. I think I should probably go to the GP and just get some bloods done and rule out anything obvious. But if it all ok I am not sure what else to do. As I say it has been going on a long time and my Dh is getting rather fed up with it.

There's no harm in that. All I'd suggest is that you and your DH nurture your relationship (aside from the sex bit) and see where that takes you.

Definitely go to the GP - you have nothing to lose and they may be able to find a cause. I know how you feel - sex was becoming a chore to be added to the list rather than something I actively wanted to do. I did find it difficult switching off the mummy mode too - how can you feel sexy when you've spent all day looking after 2 small kids! Would agree to focus on yourself first - you need to start feeling like 'you' again. And keep talking to your DH - it certainly helped mine that he knew I was frustrated and didn't want to feel like this also.

I felt like this for several years when I was in an unhappy marriage. Then when we separated the thought of touching another man was repulsive to me. I had begun to think I might never have sex again and was fine with that. When I met someone a few months later the sexual feelings came flooding back I can assure you! I think it's a combination of being bored/lazy/complacent with a long term partner and being run ragged with small children doing the mum thing full on. I really feel it's natural. (Sorry that's probably not helpful to your situation.)