How do I hide my disgust at colleagues' affair?

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Name changed as I cannot be outed over this..

Two people I have to work with are fucking. I know this as she confirmed it to my (reliable) friend and colleague while drunk at Christmas. However, it's pretty much an open secret. They have lunch together, meet up before work as well as their after work shag. (I presume they shag anyway.)

She's 35, single. He's early forty something I think, married, three children, youngest is one.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to hide my revulsion at their affair. I have a young DC myself and find myself feeling horrific for his wife at home with the children while he fucks his subordinate.

Yes- it's none of my business, I know. But I can't stand what they're doing. How do I keep it all in? Is their affair unprofessional in itself?

Does anyone else have similar experience and can share what they did?

Fraud, abuse and theft are criminal offences. Against the law. Sleeping with a willing partner may be immoral in the wrong context but it's not yet criminal as far as I know...

she should be able to have a rant here without getting pounced on and ripped to threads at the very least

Its not nice to witness, not nice at all

People behaving in an immoral and destructive way pretty much disgusts me, even though it's "none of my business".

Although if it affects the work environment it might be my business.

People should realise that sleeping with work colleagues isn't going to endear others to them.

But people need to be sure before they start making accusations. I'm not the only one reading this thread who has been suspected, erroneously, of having an affair at work. I didn't find out about the rumours, which several people believed, until I'd left the workplace. It was still awful to deal with.

I think it's the tone and language used by the OP that have influenced the responses she's had.

flowery

yes it's a bit sweary. She sounds more angry than I might. But it's a bit annoying to be accused of being on a moral high horse when you are just expressing an opinion about something you feel strongly about.

It's a tricky one. OP should not gossip, should hide her disgust, but as someone on Page 1 said, this could have real implications for how Management is perceived and therefore it's ability to operate effectively

its

"Its not nice to witness, not nice at all"

Stick around :) Here on MN we are quite lovely to people deserving of help but self-righteous holier-than-thou types tend to get short shrift... Just like real life, in fact.

Just like real life in the UK, Cog, but not necessarily like real life in Islamic societies where women have been, and continue to be, stoned or hung to death for little more than an allegation by self-righteous holier-than-thou types such as the OP and her ilk.

Cogito

She hasn't been given short shrift by everyone though. MN is not one opinion

Omg this is exactly what my ex did. Shagging a work colleague before work after work and on odd days off. Taking my dd on dates too and she was only 1! We had 3 children and the eldest was 9. I feel v sorry for his wife who probably doesn't even have an inkling they are unhappily married like I was! Some men just can't keep it in their pants. If I was you I think I would have to say something to her about what she is messing with. After I found out and she was landed with him she decided the kids and him wasn't actually what she wanted surprise, surprise!

i dont know what i would do in OP's position.
if you dont feel you can hide your disgust op, then don't.

izzy

I'd say the disgust might be stronger towards the man actually. And that you are extrapolating wildly

" MN is not one opinion"

You are quite right. I use the personal pronoun 'we' in the figurative sense...

The Royal "we"?

Sorry, I normally agree totally with you Cogito

I get wanting to rant. I also get feeling morally superior, providing of course the OP has never done anything similar.

But she is coming across as really disproportionately angry, as though she is personally involved, and the "tramp", "skank" etc language unfortunately make her sound rather an unpleasant individual.

Fraud, abuse and theft are illegal. Adultery is not.

If 2 people are having a relationship which is conducted off work premises, they are relatively discreet and the relationship does not impact on you, then what on earth has it got to do with you?

If you complain about them or make a fuss, you will just make yourself look either jealous or unstable.

LOL at the fickle mumsnet stance!

broken relationships, cheating husbands, divorce, DC caught in the crossfire -usually gets a 'kill the cunting bastard and feed his balls to the baying hounds' type response but here it's 'meh...live and let live'

yes and a different day, different wording, would ahve been a whole different ball game

my goodness, what vitriol. You sound quite unhinged OP. Why does gossip about what MAY be happening bother you so much ?

I dont think it is the case brass.

The op does not have absolute prrof.
And she doesnt know the ow.
And it is a workplace scenario.

Everybody can go round shouting all sorts from the rooftops, but some can also end up in court for slander.

it's nonsense that there is a contradiction here between "kill the bastard" and "live and let live'

Lots of people do not subscribe to the "kill the bastard " stance. It's by no means universal

and I agree with get off your high horse but apparently that means I have had affairs .
what an utterly bizarre extrapolation