No contact for a month - why can't I just let go?

[thimblena]

After a 5 year relationship DP stopped contacting me. The week before all had been fine, then nothing.

Well when I say fine I mean that the relationship had started off with lots of passion but was admittedly on its last legs and probably time for us to both move on. We didn't hate each other, just got a little bored with each other and weren't making each other a priority, but he continued to say he wanted us to be together for always etc etc.

But a month ago he stops contacting me; didn't return a couple of calls I made to him; nothing.

I know he's still alive - saw his car outside his workplace.

I want this relationship to have ended and I want to move on, but I keep thinking about him - not in a longing, loving way - just irritated at why he couldn't give our relationship a better ending than this. I'm not the sort to start screaming and threatening or begging him not to dump me, so I don't really understand it. Yes, he might have an OW, but even if he did surely he could have ended our relatinship better than this - it was very special once for both of us.

I really don't understand why I can't just put him out of my mind, rather than hoping I've got a text from him or that I'll bump into him somewhere. I've got no intention of engineering a meeting as I don't want him anymore......so why am I still clinging on to him? It ridiculous.

Well done, I know it's still very hard for you. Keep strong, keep posting here if you're tempted to go crazy at him!

Well done OP - you're doing great!! I've no doubt he will contact you at some point and I really hope you've moved on by then and you can tell him to get lost x

Great - and if contacts you and gets arsey that you binned it, tell him that a few weeks is plenty long enough to keep someone else's stuff if they've walked without a word ...

I did have an urge to check to see if he was at work so I drove in the direction of his workplace, but got distracted by my oil light coming on. I'd reached my destination before I remembered that I had planned to turn off and go via the road where he works.

Ooo well done!
Sounds like a bit of modern day 'divine intervention', that was perfectly timed!

Thimbelena you are not alone, I think it happens more than we think. A friend of mine was planning his wedding with live in gf of 10 years, she left for work in the morning and he never saw her again. Last night's clothes on the floor, no signs at all. Your exDP was a coward, whether he had 'reasons' or not, the way he has behaved is unforgivable and he doesn't deserve any more thought from you. I have a feeling you are going to have a fine time in your new life.

I do hope so Juliette. Today was quite difficult as (annoyingly) I hoped he might acknowldge Valentine's Day (not that I've ever cared about it before). And I know that if he had sent a card or whatever I wouldn't have wanted him or his scrubby little card, but its simply not nice being dumped in this way - its mean and unkind and I'm hurt, even though I don't want him