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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Oh god... Slept with my BFF....

125 replies

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 21:34

What was I thinking!!!.... Would it be considered ' cheating' on my partner?? It wont happen again...there have been a few jokey comments today so am not worried about losing our friendship... That said, its all feeling a bit freaky!!

OP posts:

Report

KatieMiddleton · 10/02/2013 23:24

Maryz

toomuch2young · 10/02/2013 23:26

So you are a 40 year old woman, who has not only has a 'BFF' but then shags them after some wine?! And then posts on mumsnet to ask of its cheating?

Sounds like one for Jeremy Kyle

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 23:31

Thanks katie, like I said, I have had my reality check.... Have you never done something stupid?? I am properly mortified by my behaviour and have noone to blame but myself, but still, I was hoping to have a bit of friendly support here about this mistake

OP posts:

TDada · 10/02/2013 23:33

How old are you icie ?

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 23:34

Oh god!thanks toomuch!

OP posts:

toomuch2young · 10/02/2013 23:34

She's 40 TD

Obviously.

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 23:36

I am early 40s... And should know better clearly!!

OP posts:

TDada · 10/02/2013 23:37

so then put it down to midlife wobbles . You are a good egg hun; don't worry about it

fuckwittery · 10/02/2013 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 23:42

Thanksfuckwit... I am definetly not a troll... But boy its an eyeopener with a name change and a dilemma on here!!!

OP posts:

KatieMiddleton · 10/02/2013 23:47

Have you never done something stupid?

Yeah loads of stupid things, but I have never shagged someone else then very casually posted on MN asking if it's cheating... and I would never use the term BFF either

My stupidity is more along the lines of trying to do everything, failing to be very kind to myself and not saying "no" more. Or forgetting to put the colander under the saucepan to drain pasta. Not so much the doing the nasty when pissed with somebody who's not dh and posting about it in the manner of a 14 year old.

almostanotherday · 10/02/2013 23:48

It was the drink I'm guessing would it of happened if you were both sober?

KatieMiddleton · 10/02/2013 23:51

If this is genuine, what sort of support are you looking for? Other than asking if it's cheating you've not really said.

icemaidensu · 10/02/2013 23:54

Its genuine katie... I dont know what I was looking for when I posted, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

OP posts:

toomuch2young · 10/02/2013 23:54

Oh op do stop whining. Don't you realise you cheated on your partner.
In many people's book that's a pretty serious thing. But oh no, you think it's fine to light heartedly come on here wittering on like a teenager about BFFs, and forgetting the fact you cheated!!
What support do you want exactly? You asked a question, is it cheating, and you got answers. Did you expect everyone to say 'aww what a shame, course it's not really cheating hun'

icemaidensu · 11/02/2013 00:01

Blimey!

OP posts:

MidnightMasquerader · 11/02/2013 00:03

Man sleeps with OW = cheating
Woman sleeps with OM = cheating
Man sleeps with OM = cheating

Woman indulges in a little on-the-side sapphic fun = no harm done.

Who knew?

AnyFucker · 11/02/2013 00:04

Have there been some very big upheavals in your life recently ?

How is your relationship with your male partner ?

TDada · 11/02/2013 00:05

why don't we test the sterotype and ask hubby to join in next time....taboo but had to be said

fuckwittery · 11/02/2013 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thecatneuterer · 11/02/2013 00:07

Blimey indeed!

And the ironic thing is that if this were a mainly male forum I bet the reaction would be completely different (and I'm not talking about the obvious purient interest). I've had this hypothetical conversation with many men in the past, and the vast majority wouldn't consider it as 'proper' cheating and had a similar reaction to the poster's husband above.

icemaidensu · 11/02/2013 00:08

Am stepping away now, namechanging back...
Thanks all for making me see clearly the error of my ways

OP posts:

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TDada · 11/02/2013 00:08

calls for a MN survey i think

TDada · 11/02/2013 00:11

Glad that tyou found answers here. MN great for sorting out these dilemnas.

KatieMiddleton · 11/02/2013 00:11

A survey you say..?

Flip

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