Partners and children

[Honeycrack]

How long would you have to be with a new partner before it was ok for him to discipline your kids...including shouting at them, threatning them with early bedtimes, threatning to come home during a day out etc?

Also, would you be ok with him questioning your houserules for instance saying that the kids are on the playstation too much or saying that they wear the wrong clothes or that their out of school activities are not appropriate etc?

Would he have to be living with you first for instance?

a very long time................

also children have to be very comfortable with new partner before he starts laying the law down

he cant just walk in and start laying down the law

otherwise it breeds resentment from the kids

This is a tough one. I think, if i was out and a stranger was telling my child 'do what mummy tells you' or such like, id appreciate the intervention/distraction if my DD was being a handful.

I dont know how i would feel though about a new partner doing the same. Strange, huh? Mind you, tis not mine to ponder.

Hmm if you have been happy with time spent on playstation, clothes (I assume YOU bought them) and after school activities then why change them? That sounds more like control.

Shouting?? Never. DP and I try not to shout at DS (spot the word try), I don't think it acheives anything and just demonstrates a lack of control.

I think sitting down as a group and setting ground rules before anyone moves in lets everyone know where you all stand. It would let the both the new partner and the children know what is acceptable and what the consequenses are.

Before anyone new moves in (ie just dating etc) I don't think they have any say in the disapline of someone elses children and should refer the matter to the parent.