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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I blowing this out of proportion?

19 replies

MrsJackBlack · 26/04/2006 17:16

My DP is so ignorent and selfish, last saturday we were in Subway and I was standing in front of him in the queue, the lady then asked ME "what can I get you" and he practically jumped foward and started reeling off his order Angry (we were buying seperately) so of course she assumed that I didnt want anything and after serving him went on to the woman behind me.

He makes me so mad, he does this kind of thing all the time, probably sounds a bit petty and childish but to me it stinks of ignorence and general lack of respect.

I did say to him "what did you do that for?" and he just looked and said... "sorry..." so he knew what he'd done!

Am I blowing it out of proportion baring in mind its not about the bloody sandwich its about his attitude and selfishness? Angry

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 26/04/2006 17:17

Yes, you are blowing it out of proportion.

CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 17:18

I'd be pissed off too.

Have you explained to him how it makes you feel - as in you feel disrespected, rather than "you're an ignorant oaf" kind of thing?

FioFio · 26/04/2006 17:20

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Distel · 26/04/2006 17:20

I find that it can often be the constant niggly things that are harder to deal with as you have to bit your tounge otherwise you would argue all the time.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 26/04/2006 17:22

sorry to be an echo
but why buy seperately

MrsJackBlack · 26/04/2006 17:25

We live seperately and so do not share our incomes.

I didnt mention how it made me feel as I didnt want to start an argument over it but its winding me up more now as time goes on, like I said he does this kind of thing all the time, its like I'm not as important as him or something Angry

OP posts:
sistersledge · 26/04/2006 17:26

I'd find that annoying too my chap does similar...like not introducing me to people he bumps into leaving me standing like a fool politely smiling or in the kitchen when dinner is being served he dives in & starts leaning all over me to dish up his food even if I am trying to do mine !!!

I have mentioned this annoys me on several ocassions but we just put it down to the fact that he grew up with two brothers & had to grab what he could quick !

no excuse though manners cost nothing after all & if you don't say anything he'll never think twice about doing the same again.....don't see that it's relevant why you were buying seperately !! ??

FioFio · 26/04/2006 17:26

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CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 17:27

you don't even buy each other Subway sandwiches Shock

how long have you been together? are you planning to move in with him?

sistersledge · 26/04/2006 17:29

the orginally post was to highlight his total lack of manners not to analyse this couples financial situation - ???

Norah · 26/04/2006 17:29

My dh is usually charming - everyone thinks he has impeccable manners - but he can be very rude at home - quite often just barges me out of the way if he wants to get past me - leans over me to get stuff etc. It's usually when he is tired and stressed at work - I think manners just go out of the window - and also familiarity ! Sometimes I think he hardly even notices I'm there - just part of the furniture now !

So - it's not just you !

CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 17:31

imho the extent to which you're prepared to share little things like subway subs, coffees etc is indicative of the general amount of give and take in a relationship. So I would argue it's relevant M'Lud.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/04/2006 17:31

Yes, i think you are. Sorry.

I wouldnt dream of being offended if my DP queue jumped me. Mind you, i wouldnt have him stood behind me anyway to queue - we would just do it together/order at the same time.

Just seems like an odd setup/grounds in a relationship to be so separate about basic things like this. Although, i suppose in that sort of set up, it would be considered rude.

MrsJackBlack · 26/04/2006 17:34

He doesnt have much money so just usually buys his own and he earns more than me so naturally I cant really afford to buy his either!

OP posts:
sistersledge · 26/04/2006 17:34

ok agree to disagree on the relvance here. The manners part was the upsetting point as I read it
M'lud/Lady!!

fuzzywuzzy · 26/04/2006 17:36

I may be way out here, but have you posted about this boyfriend before.
Does he live with his mum, and come to your house occasionally, did he buy an xbox whilst you wanted to save to move in together...???

cheesecake · 26/04/2006 18:40

I dont get this (no really I dont ) why are you paying seperatly again it dosnt make sence .

tribpot · 26/04/2006 19:22

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cheesecake · 26/04/2006 20:02

but it dosnt make sence because a friend would do that but not some one you had sex with .so you can share sex but not a sarnie . weird .lol

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