We rushed everything and now I think he wrecked what we had :-(

[TikaEll]

When DP and I first met we fell madly in love and wanted to be with each other 24/7. We text each other constantly, made excuses to see each other, thought about each other constantly and would really, really look forward to our dates etc. I think we were both so excited to have found someone so compatible that we went a bit mad and rushed the whole thing. Within 6 months we were living together and apart from work commitments were with each other around the clock. But I'm now thinking it was all too rushed. We don't go out anymore, what's the point when we can just sit in front of the telly together? it's warmer and cheaper. He moans constantly about every little thing and I sometimes long for the days when we actually looked forward to seeing each other. I sometimes wish we could go back to dating but lets face it, if I suggest that now it more or less places a huge nail in that coffin that is our relationship doesn't it?

I feel so conflicted. I love him, I truely do and when I kiss him I still melt - however I no longer look forward to our evenings together, I can't be arsed to text him during the day and I know full well he continuously panics about the whole thing which leaves me in a permanent state of unsettlement and insecurity.

I feel trapped. I feel our only options are to try and push through the shit and make it work, despite the evidently rushed start or actually give up on it and break up, too much damage being done?

If you stay as you are it seems that resentment will build for you. Resentment will kill the relationship. Talk to him, try to go back, it is possible, if he wants to. I'm not saying it would be an easy conversation, or that there's no way it could end as a result of it, but it's better than the alternative.

This is your honeymoon period, it's too early to have let that go. Have you told him how you feel?

Yes it was rushed. You can still make an effort and do dates nights and keep it alive or you can became more and more familiar until it gets rusty.

Why do you feel trapped. You are not married with kids are you? You are still free to follow your gut and do whatever you think will save the relationship if it's worth that or ship out if it's not

Surely there's a compromise between moving out and doing nothing? Tell him that you miss the early days of excitement and you see no reason to let them go now you're living with each other. Make time to have date nights, or evenings where you switch off the TV and have to talk to each other. Ban sex for a while to rebuild the sexual tension. Also, ban him from moaning for at least a couple of nights a week. No one likes a moaner - either he discuss the problem, works out what he can do about it and then does it, or he shuts and stops dragging you down with his negativity.

If he panics every time you want to discuss your needs in the relationship then he either needs to get a grip or see a counsellor. That's a sure-fire way to relegate your needs to the bottom of the pile. You'll end up resenting him hugely, becoming very unhappy and probably splitting anyway.

Does sound rushed and you probably moved in together too quickly. Everyone makes mistakes. The tragedy would be to compound the mistake by doing nothing to correct it while you still can.

He moans constantly about every little thing

Are you a whinger too? If not, you've mistaken the heady rush of infatuation for compatibility and if you stay with him this stick in the mud man will continue to suck the joy out of your life.

move apart again but still be in a relationship?
Its what i did.

You haven't got kids. DId you buy a house together or are you renting? Basically it sound like it would be easy enough to dump him and move on, and probably the best thing to do.
It's not compulsory to have a partner, after all, and life is basically too short to waste your time fussing over a man who was fun for a while but now is not. There are more out there - and more interesting things to do than worry about couplehood, anyway.