How long untill it stops hurting?

[chocolatecakeystuff]

Had only been with dp a year when I found out I was pregnant. Long story short he told me to have a termination & left me alone to deal with it, ending things there and then (a month yesterday)

We had agreed we didn't want children, my dd has a genetic condition which is not only terminal but degenerative as well, its believed I'm the carrier of the gene as her dad has had other healthy children. So the chances would have been very high the baby would have been as poorly as dd.

So just over 2 weeks ago I went ahead with a termination alone. Its not something I'm proud of & don't feel I can talk about it with rl friends who are all having babies.

I have to see the ex every day as I rent stables off him for my horses. He's already with someone else (first appeared the day before my termination) and its constantly rubbed in my face.

Its to put it politely killing me. He's not said a word to me about what happened & what I had to do. Even though he knows it was my worst nightmare & I didn't want to do it.

I just want it all to stop hurting. I've got enough to cope with, with dd's condition & just feel so alone.

I know its selfish but he was the one thing I had in my life for me. Everything else is about dd.

What a shitty situation.

Emotionally try and take comfort that he showed his true colours now rather than further down life's path. You are well rid of a shit like that even if it hurts like hell now.

Practically can you look to keep the horses elsewhere?

Get some good advice on the hereditary condition. I have something a bit like that. there is a 50% chance that if I have children any child would have the same thing. So your ex having children who are healthy doesn't mean that he isn't passing on the dodgy gene. If it's autosomnal dominant there is a 50% chance that any child will have the condition, and it's 50% on each child, so if he has 4 children they could all be carriers or none of them could.

You will need a referrel to a good genetic unit, ask for this from your GP. If you are in London, Hammersmith and Charing Cross Hospitals have excellent (in my experience) people.

Please please don't be ashamed. You'd be surprised at how many of your friends will have had abortions, with a lot less to think about than you. I too think you've had a lucky escape. It makes you wonder how these twats sleep at night.

You can't beat a good support group. Go on the SN Board and get googling. It WILL get better :)