I don't love my DH

[madtizzy]

Hi, I'm a new member and I just wanted to talk as I'm feeling so depressed because my dh is a wonderful man he's fanastic with our children, but he hurt me so much a year ago by cheating on me I just can't love him anymore but I'm so scared of being by myself as I'm not the best mother in the world, I've put on over 5 stone since having my children so I'm fat and unattractive and I have always done crap jobs as I have just can't believe in myself so I have no qualifications and no prospests. I desperately want to give my children everything and I so want them to have their father, I just couldn't do it by myself I would go mad, but I can't stand my dh touching me or kissing me or being anywhere near me. I just don't know what to do.

Oh madtizzy I feel for you it sounds like your in an awful position, have you tried talking to your dh? Why do you think your a bad mother? Your are probably a lot stronger than you think.

Big hugs coming your way X

I have talked and talked but he never talks back to me, not about how he feels. I have never been able to do anything, I let everybody down, its just what I do and I can't hold responsbilities, I need by dh, I just don't love him, I wished I did.

madtizzy, regardless of how you feel about your DH it sounds as if you don't love yourself. Perhaps if you worked on your own self esteem it would improve your relationship? Could it be that you're pushing your DH away because you don't feel you deserve him? I'm certainly not a psychologist and don't know you're whole situation so do tell me to just push off!

And I hope you're not blaming in yourself for his cheating. I know that can happen, but regardless of weight gain, etc you are not to blame.

I know that can happen - I mean I know that we women can blame ourselves for these things.

madtizzy, of course the best thing would be couples counselling, but if he won't go please go ahead and make an appt. for yourself. You have lots of issues to work through and the only way to get there is one step at a time. You absolutely can make your situation better but it takes time and effort. Taking the first step is very, very hard but sooo worth it.

He cheated lots of times at the begin of our relateships I found out once and I went running back to my ex (he was the life of my life but also cheated and bascially didn't want me he was younger than me and told I wasn't sexy enough) Anyway I slept with him, awhile later I found out I was pregnant my ex of course didn't want to know, my dh did he stayed with stayed cheating mind and I had my ds I don't know who is the father my dh knows but says he wants us regardless. Everytime I look at him he reminds me of my ex and it breaks my heart everytime. I f**k everything up see.

You sounds very depressed madtizzy maybe you talk to your GP. You might need the help og antidepresses or counselling to help you get sight of your situation.

I'm sorry I just don't have anyone to talk to anymore, I don't have any friends anymore I pushed everyone away. Sorry to go on, sorry.

That's what you can do here is talk, but you need to get some help, and with some help and support you can turn your life around i know it seems impossible now, but believe me it isn't.

Thank you for talking to me I really need someone to talk to, sorry if I bored you, nobody likes to know you when your down hey?

You haven't bored anyone though I am very concerned that you get some help soon, the world is not so bad honset.

You are a beautiful person. Who is feeding you these crap lines...'I can't do anything', 'I have no prospects' 'I f* everything up'. I have no doubt that you have reached as low as you can go, NOW it's time to come back up. YOU are the only person who can make YOU happy, you cannot rely on anyone else. Your husband obviously has his own agenda, now get one for yourself. If you do not love him, let him find happiness else where because staying with him will make you miserable and remind you daily of who you cannot be. Your children will love you for who you are, be the best you can be for them and it will come right back to you. Don't waste another minute with these negative thoughts, they are just bad habits. No one can tell you that you cannot change, no one can tell you who to be...er, including me! But stop this hate for yourself right now! You post has made me feel sad and cross that someone else makes you feel so bad about yourself. I hope you don't think I'm being too forward.You are a great person, who can say any different? STAND UP you get one shot, it's time to take it.