Sorry for the name change but need quick, impartial advice (Am a reg on local, diet and chat). Basically I am in a relationship which leaves me wondering where the fuck I am with it all one day to the next. One minute he's all lovey dovey and going on about our future, next minute he's cold and talks like he doesn't see us lasting the month out. Everytime he's drunk he goes on about ME not wanting HIM (projection??) he dangles me a carrot (talks marriage) and then takes it away (rubishes marriage). At Christmas I got sick of him fucking me about so told him to make his mind up, he either commits or does one. He decided to commit and moved in with me. Since then we've been ok but on two occasions he's used my kids as an excuse to say he's "wobbling" on the whole thing. First time my eldest was a bit disrespectful and wasted DPs time on something (leaving DP whinging saying he didn't know if he could handle that kind of attitude) and tonight my youngest (adhd) went to the park instead of coming home after school and didn't come home when told to (he's 12). Dp took the opportunity to have a massive rant about how lacking my parenting is, how crap my kids are (my words, not his but this was the gist I got) and how he doesn't know if he can "handle it". AIBU to say to him "if you're still 'not sure' what the fuck did you move in with me for???"
I feel like I'm constantly on trial whilst he makes up his mind about whether we're good enough for him or not. I'm sick of it. Everytime something goes wrong or things are not perfect does he suddenly start to wonder if he can "handle it". Surely he either decides once and for all if he can "handle it" or not and then if so, "handle it" when things are not perfect too??