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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

A kiss.

25 replies

Cardigan88 · 03/02/2013 22:31

Hi all. I thought I'd find a forum, sign up and post about something as I can't really mention this among my friends.

I know a woman, an acquaintance. She is married and I'm not. A few weeks ago after a lot was drunk she surprised me with a kiss. I reciprocated until I realised what was happening after three seconds or so, and then pulled away. Her friend then stepped in and got her away from me.

I know what the advice will be here - move on, forget it, it was her who cheated and this is just a minor thing. I'm just looking for some input into why this may have happened and why I, after never thinking about her at all before this, now can't seem to think about anything or anybody else. To me that doesn't make any sense.

We have not discussed it but I saw her as part of a group and she was acting completely normally, like nothing ever happened. This is what I would have done in her shoes but it left my head, which was already pretty messed up over this, in an even more messed up state.

Basically I know this is isn't big, at least not for me. The bigger problems are for her and her husband. But I can't seem to forget it.

I know it's not a major problem compared to some on here so I apologise, but any thoughts are welcome. Thanks

OP posts:

snoopdogg · 03/02/2013 22:38

Jog on, step away from the married woman.

Pissed, brief kiss, nothing more to see here.

Titillate yourself, if you must, with what makes you attractive enough to tempt the married away from their life partners but truth is it was the beer goggles.

MushroomSoup · 03/02/2013 22:39

I can't make out what you're asking, actually.
Are you finding that you're attracted to her? Repulsed? Confused?
Your reaction is what you need to be thinking about, not her, or the kiss.

izzyizin · 03/02/2013 22:51

She was pissed, you were pissed. Shit happens. There's nothing to think about. Move on.

meditrina · 03/02/2013 22:54

Drunk kiss - erase it from your memory. And don't dwell on what it might have meant. Snapping to you senses and breaking off was the best possible reaction at the time. Now follow through on that mentally too.

And to be on the safe side, don't be alone with her.

kalidanger · 03/02/2013 23:00

Are you in a relationship? Look towards that, not towards her.

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 03/02/2013 23:15

Cheers all. To be honest I feel a bit stupid posting as it's obvious what needs to be done. I was/am confused but no good can come of dwelling. Am I allowed to take this as an ego boost?

Also I will have to see her again. I'm planning on ignoring her unless she speaks to me - this the correct approach?

Many thanks again. Sense literally beated in. I needed it.

OP posts:

snoopdogg · 03/02/2013 23:22

errr, yeah, if your ego is boosted by being snogged by a married piss head who walks away.

Wouldn't an ego boost being snogged by someone who then asks for your number and wants to see you again?

spottyt · 04/02/2013 09:15

Do you like her? You obviously do or you would be able to stop thinking about her.
Has anything like this happened before with her or did you just kiss, you must have been awfully close to her for it to happen.
Do you know her husband?

spottyt · 04/02/2013 09:31

Also is she older than you, is she known for kissing other men. Don't think ignoring her will help especially if you usually talk to her other people may find it strange.
To be honest I think their is more to it than her just pouncing on you for a kiss.

fluffyraggies · 04/02/2013 10:18

Are you a man, actually, then?

It's just that i read the OP picturing you as a woman and your problem was that you were worrying re. feelings for another woman.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2013 10:25

Not getting this at all. Are you male or female, OP?

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 18:15

Cheers all. I'm male. To answer some questions I have never had any feelings for her before this but now who knows? Presumably nothing real. I guess there were some arms round each other etc for photos before the kiss but nothing else and nothing out of the ordinary. I don't know her husband, she is younger and as for kissing others, I don't know.

Ego boost? Okay I admit but it's not the best scenario but getting a kiss is always nice surely?

More to it? Perhaps. But as I've said I'll try and get past this. Hopefully she won't get into any trouble.

Thanks for everyone who took the time to reply it really did help...

OP posts:

FollicallyEnhancedFreak · 04/02/2013 19:36

The only time I've ever acted like nothing had happened in a situation like this is when I wished nothing had ever happened. She's probably mortified or was so drunk she's forgotten the entire incident.

It doesn't sound like much of an ego boost to me!

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 19:45

@Follically - yes you are spot on I think.

OP posts:

FollicallyEnhancedFreak · 04/02/2013 19:53

"Drunk kiss - erase it from your memory. And don't dwell on what it might have meant. Snapping to you senses and breaking off was the best possible reaction at the time. Now follow through on that mentally too." - meditrina's advice is spot on.

I spent a month few days over-thinking a kiss - down that road madness lies.

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 20:15

I will, thank you. To be honest I'm a little bit embarrassed I even started this thread

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 04/02/2013 20:41

Have you had a rather ermmm sheltered life, cardigan ?

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 21:02

How do you mean?

OP posts:

Gingerandcocoa · 04/02/2013 21:03

Don't be embarrassed you started this!!! I guess this is what MN is for...

spottyt · 04/02/2013 21:06

I doubt a married women would forget kissing another man, was it a passionate kiss or a peck?
She's either the type of women who does this often or she genuinely likes you, how's her marriage?
You sound quite smitten to me

spottyt · 04/02/2013 21:07

Have you spoken to her since the kiss?

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 21:36

Was more than a peck but I stopped it before it got out of hand. No idea on how her marriage is. We have been in the same room a couple of times now since (church etc) and we have briefly spoken with others present (never alone) but she has behaved as normal and it's not been mentioned.

OP posts:

spottyt · 04/02/2013 22:21

Not condoning your kiss but I met my dw when she and I were both married, best thing that ever happened to us

FiercePanda · 04/02/2013 22:22

It was a drunken, sloppy, "more than a peck" kiss, not a rampant night of unbridled passion. Forget about it, and her. Like Follically said upthread, "down that road madness lies."

Original poster

Cardigan88 · 04/02/2013 23:14

Too right, FiercePanda. I will. Thanks.

OP posts:

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