Genuine Mistake or Pathetic Attempt At Contact?

[MamaFab]

Hello! Just a quick question: is it possible these days to text someone by accident?

I just received a text from the father of my child addressed to 'everyone'. This is the second such text i've received in the past few months. the first i responded with 'delete my number'.

We have had no contact since i told him i was pregnant and he said he wanted nothing to do with me or baby. In these circumstances, i know i would damn well make sure i never text him by 'mistake'.

Also, its just gone past my due date baby was actually born three weeks early), and two days ago i was out with baby and bumped into one of his friends.

So, is this a genuine mistake and im reading too much into it because im paranoid (i want nothing to do with him and want him no where near my child), or is this his pathetic attempt at establishing contact/garnering info, without having to actually put himself on the line?

All opinions gratefully received x

What was the content of the text that was addressed to 'everyone'?

He was telling everyone he is using his old number again and to contact him using that one. The last text i received said the same thing, and its the same number!

It is possible if you are sending a text to multiple recipients, to include someone accidentally.

However, it might be worth having a chat with a solicitor who specialises in family law regarding this man and his possible contact with the child. Legally, he is entitled to request contact and you would have to show very good reasons why he shouldn't be allowed it for a court to agree (eg, he is a paedophile/drug addict/extremely violent and unpredictable - not just that you dislike him, or he's unemployed, or he has lots of sexual partners, or he dumped you for someone else). If you were to say, he's not the father, he would have the legal right to request a DNA test.

He may, of course, not have any interest and stay completely out of your lives. But in case he has had a change of heart, which I think is perhaps what you are worried about, you need to be prepared, and aware of your own rights, and have a strategy in place.

Really could be either.

Does he know where you live/where someone in your family lives?

If so, if I were you I would be tempted to change your number, purely because any little attempts at contact are obviously going to worry you. But if he ever wants to make a serious attempt at being involved with the baby he will still be able to get in touch.

I understand what you're saying Solid, and I've had a plan in place since he said he didn't want to know. I have no real problem with him seeing our son if he's changed his mind, but I've always said if that he would have to come to us, we would not chase him.

I wondered about the text because I would think if a bloke genuinely didnt want to be involved, he would make sure he did not 'accidentally' text the mother of his unwanted child for any reason whatsoever.

Of course, he could just be mind numbingly stupid.....

Sparkly - the only thing he has is my number and he knows where i work. i've moved house since we stopped contact, and blocked facebook etc

He's the type who would have a problem admitting he had changed his mind, which is another reason i wonder if this is his way of checking up on us or something.

There is no way anyone on here would be able to say for sure which it is. The only thing you can do is change your mobile number.

Hmm, you could, providing he is none of the things that Solidgoldbrass said, send out one olive branch, you could send a text letting him know your ds has been born, that he's a boy, his birth weight and offer him the opportunity to meet him.

I know that you shouldn't have to, but at least then you will know and will have cleared the air regarding these texts.

Also if he is going to turn out to be a deadbeat, or try to make contact, now is probably the best time while your ds is a baby and you can see if he is up to the job.

Fair enough ie he's not a danger to you or your LO. I think Sparkly's right, send him a text letting him know that your DS is here and healthy and what you have called him. THen see what he does.

Unless he is mind numbingly stupid as so many of them are he will know that human gestation is considerably less than that of elephants and will have twigged an approximate date on when his ds may be born.

If these texts are a pathetic attempt on his part to institigate contact with you, I would suggest you ignore them and wait to see whether his balls drop sufficiently to enable him to make clearcut direct contact with you, otherwise you will risk being rebuffed again by the knobhead who refused to have anything to do with you while you were carrying his child.

Frankly, IMO, the only message this twat deserves from you is by way of a letter from the CSA.

If, out of the goodness of your heart, you feel in any way obliged to announce the birth of your son to his father, I would suggest you simply text 'Your son was born last month'.

If providing no date, birth weight, name, or any other detail about your son's arrival into this world, doesn't pique his curiousity and cause him to make a direct approach to you, nothing will.

Thank you for your opinions guys! Have not replied to text as agree with Izzy that if he does want contact he should grow a pair and say so directly.

Thanks again x

Good for you, Mama - you are fab!