Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

[lubeybooby]

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

In other news.... I was going to go and audition for another show I wanted to do but was a bit put off by the fact that my emotionally abusive ex is involved. Got myself in the frame of mind to think "sod it" when a friend tells me she's got herself a bloke. And he is also involved in the same show. Now I don't want her back, and couldn't care less that she's got someone and I haven't. Bitch. I am amicable if we happen to bump into her for politeness and the sake of our mutual friends. But I don't know if I want to see her and new bloke a couple of times a week for four months.

Anyway, having heard all this news and spent another Sunday on my own and seeing no one ? understandably, all my friends do family things on Sundays, even my few single ones without their own kids ? I decided that I would put a profile back on POF. It?s been over six months, I loathe OD, but I see no other options for me. Did a search and I didn?t find one woman I found attractive within a 50-mile radius. I'll leave it up there for a while, at least by doing that it's a sort of positive step to trying to at least get a date.

I do SUCH a good line in self-pity! Good job I?m an actor and can hide it in real life!

oh and some man, has been messaging me for ages. hes 45 and 5ft 3. i am not going to date him.
He told me he went on a date but the woman just wasnt genuine at all. Ive asked how can he tell and what constitutes a genuine person, and genuine behaviour.
i expecting some drivel back. then i shall block.

watch - unbelieveable, innit? Not surprised you're fucked off. What a ridiculous and appalling thing for that woman to say! I'd lump her in with the fuckers, too. Take heart from the fact that you've had dates and she hasn't. She's obviously just a jealous, dried up and bitter woman!!

er, voice, why is she a bitch if shes found someone and you havent?

hardly fair and not very nice really.

its not about point scoring with dates though, is it.
Number of dates means absolutley nothing.

at the 'your poor child' comment!

Watch - I was being amusing. Although, as she was emotionally abusive towards me, tried to diddle me out of money when the house was sold, blanked and was rude to previously mutual friends to their face, I actually don't care about not being particularly fair or not very nice about her.

And as you earlier called people fuckers, one could say "pot" and "kettle"!

Voice, after not hearing back from a guy I met on Saturday, I thought 'that's it. I'm hideous, I won't do anymore blind dates' but what is the alternative. Spending the rest of my life without?

Watch, ignore that woman and feel pleased when she starts getting mucked around from Match.

With goat boy I would be on my guard, tbh, not worth getting involved with someone who is clearly stating he only wants casual, they often give mixed messages but if they say they don't want anything more they usually mean it. If you think you can handle it, fine, but it sounds like he is already annoying you.

people are fuckers because they are rude.
not because they havent done anything wrong by moving on and finding a new partner after you have split.

Scrazy - indeed, have you still not heard anything? its frustrating, sorry. Ive had years of it.

Also, that woman, by the law of sod, will find someone lovely on the first date!

No, ive listened and am aware, its fine. i dont want to date him anyway, but its just the typicallness of the situation thats fucked me off. not him.
Just, i never fancy someone, i never have fireworks,and when i do, its not going to go anywhere. it would be funny, except its not.

Watch, no, nothing and it really isn't because I liked him etc, there wasn't any chemistry, but he is local and I thought a polite text would be in order. I might bump into him, again. Next date will be with someone not on my doorstep just in case.

Don't often post but as I have a date lined up this week with an od guy, thought I'd share. Trouble is, I have s niggle about him I can't shake off. Back story, I chatted to him a little this time last year (before I started a relationship with someone else). I let the chat drift and we didn't maintain contact. Fast forward to now. He started chatting to me again. I remember him, he doesn't remember me. My pics are recent tho. His are not which was why I remembered him! He is hugely fanciable. But. I suspect he may be a player. He never calls me by my name. It's always lass, m'lady etc. maybe so he doesn't mix his lady friends names up? Ack. I'm not normally suspicious and suspecting that men in od sites are players but he has my spidey se senses twitching I am thinking of pulling out if the date, as I fear I may spend the evening watching for signs of being played and being suspicious of possibly innocent remarks, gestures etc. I am aware I may also just be cutting my nose off to spite my face... big sigh I'm not normally this pessimistic, rather the opposite, so I'm pissed off with myself. Do I shake it off and just go, or listen to my spidey senses and call it off.. :-/
Oops that was a long one..sorry

Voice I can see you were deeply hurt by your former partner. Maybe too soon to pick the scab.

Are there any other shows you fancy?

nice - spidey senses are there for a reason.

scrazy - ah yes, the joys of bumping into a date at some point in the future. usually when you have nipped into tescos in your jogging bottoms with no make up.

Scrazy I would send him a nice 'thanks but no thanks' text. No reason why you can't tie it up neatly.

Nice I would trust your gut. He can't even be arsed to use your name.

48 - oddly enough I was totally fine about the ex until she started being nasty to my friends last summer. I deliberately only told about 3 people what went on because I didn't want people to have to 'take sides' but stay friends with both of us if they so wanted. She said she wanted us to remain friends - or at least very amicable - and I thought that was sensible and adult because it's not a huge town and because of mutual friends. But I'm afraid that goes out the window when you are nasty and rude to my friends, people I care about and who treated her very well when we were together. Blanking people to their face is not on.

Sadly, there's nothing else going on of interest at all, so I may just have to try and suck it up, otherwise I will have sod all to do for the next four months and that's not terribly healthy.

That'sNice - I think we should always listen to our spidey senses. Perhaps meet up for a short coffee and see if the spidey sense continues to tingle. Keep your concerns in the back of your mind so you aren't swept away just by him being fanciable.

Voice to be honest, it doesn't seem like a good plan to get involved in the production with your ex and her new bf. It would be difficult under any circumstances, I think, and particularly if you are feeling a bit low. Putting a profile back up is a positive step. Go for it, get messaging and see what happens. Wishing you loads and loads of luck, you're another one that really deserves a break.

ThatsNice - well, to be honest, I'd go. It's only one date and it's a lot easier to judge these things in person than via text/messaging. I wouldn't worry about the name thing either - I rarely use people's names in texting/messaging even if I know them very, very well. I call my friend of twenty or so years Missis etc.

48 - that does actually piss me off. Quite a lot.

Voice - I think that's what I'm bothered about, being swept away as it is rare I fancy someone like this, let alone from the poor gene pool currently in my area! Think I'd be gutted to fall for him only to find out I'd been played. I know I'm looking far to far ahead and I don't normally. I'm very ce la vie, so this is unsettling me. Maybe someone could look at his profile for me and see what they think?

Definitely go with the spidey sense. Absolutely. Always!

It isn't not using the name that would set mine off. It's not remembering having spoken to you before.

Lubey, it is a different profile to be fair but the info and my blurb would have been very similar..

Lubey Good point. Mr FU tried chatting to me first time around. Contacted me first day I was back after several months. He remembered me. Still turned out to be an arsehole Minefield!

ThatsNice You would have remembered him with a different profile, betcha betcha!

It's interesting that I think I'm actually looking for reasons to cancel rather than reassurance.. We have an evening date. Think I'm going to cancel it and see if he's up for rearranging to an afternoon coffee date. I can easily cut it short then if needs be. Or let it drift on into the evening if its going swimmingly

Lubey Mr FU had a different profile. I remembered him.

Yes I think I would lubey. He is quite distinctive, looks, likes, way he writes etc. i think maybe I have played down my irritation at him not remembering by rationalizing I am not that distinctive, anything special etc. bad me for letting the negative self talk win!! kicks own ass