Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

[Usingtheplot]

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

OP can't you just put the note on his desk? why ever didn't you have a chance to give it to him all day? this is TOO frustrating .

I love this thread.
I touch colleagues ALL THE TIME. Most of them are mates outside work though. I ruffle their hair. I lean on them. Christ you lot must work st dullsville.
I don't do the tit thing though.

Please can any of you help me pen a note to CRUSH?

*I want to say sorry for having this stupid crush, and make it look like it was all my doing ( men like to feel they have the upper hand)and that I missread his shyness/embarrassment, a a sign he liked me.

*Tell him I'm feeling utterly miserable with the situation.

*Ask him if he could "humour" me.

*Explain that I miss having our freindly/funny chats.

• Leave my email address/phone number? or perhaps that's off limits.

I can't tell right now if his ardour has cooled a little or whether he's feeling the same. I don't detect any connection anymore, but he was quite flushed,something to do with my awkwardness?

The note must be light hearted, and not contain anything incriminating in case he get's the hump and shows it to his colleagues.

I havent felt any kind of romantic feelings for years until now, where do I start?

No you do not want to tell him to humour you.

Or

That you are miserable with any situation

According to google you just have to wait for him to ask you now....

A brief note saying erm (coming from someone useless with men here)

Dear bossman who touches me sometimes,

What's with all the mutual blushing going on between us now?

Would you like to go an a date so I can know if I like you or not please, on the 2nd of February I didn't like you that way but you have grown on me (I think) please can I take you out/you take me out son I can clarify my feelings or I fear I may revert back to a 13 year old and have a forever crush on you, pack in my job and be on JSA for years to come.

I am sure you will agree we need a date to get this mess over with.

Yours Franscheca

(no kiss)

Or

Dear guy,

I generally do not ask men out but I feel we need a date to clarify whether I like you or not. Please just even take me for a coffee, you never know we may end up in bed together and have several people on a talk forum very happy for us

Yours moi
x

See this is why I am single....

I do not think you should ask him to humour you or tell him you are miserable, you are a youngish single woman, you need to be giving him your self confident signs. I have no idea what these are, are you flirting back?

Overly, that is perfect! I've got to muster up enough courage to speak to him first.
Got the impression he was doing the same yesterday when he was hovering in the car park.

Why don't you you just go up to him and say

"you seem to be uneasy around me lately, and I find it a bit worrying and quite frankly upsetting, because I think you are a smashing bloke, and we used to get on so well and I would hate to lose that. If you have got a problem with me I would like to talk about it. in private of course, perhaps over coffee?"

who has actually got the crush on who in this saga???

He had the crush to start with, it was overwhelming and I tried to ignore his actions hoping it would all stop, but then I started to see him in a new light. I've got a huge crush, I'm not sure if he has got over his,it's difficult to tell.

Why not link it to your new job?

"In case you hadn't heard, I have a new job and will be leaving on 31 March. Although I'm really looking forward to it, I'll shall miss our little chats. So if you ever fancy meeting up for a coffee, here's my phone number . . ."

Good luck!

Wow op. I really think you are reading too much into all this. All this angst over a blush or two??

Just woman up and send him an email saying do you fancy a coffee/drink/lunch because I'm leaving on x date.

Simples.

I think the OP is using us to write a book...

I think something weird too now, my example of notes, well, I was joking

I think....

Hmm if so OP, please make something actually happen at the end of all this procrastinating

OP, don't explan/apologise in the note - simple is best, as Southern suggested, just say 'I'm leaving the company soon, would you like a chat over a coffee/drink?' in your note, and DEFINItELY leave him your mobile number! If he's painfully shy he can text then at least. YOu don't need to speak to him first as by te sound of it you aer both very shy and awkward and speaking is obv too difficult - you need to be in private to get over this hurdle.

Had a funny sort of few days. Did a lot of soul searching. Got to work and found it physically difficult to get out of my car.Just didn't want to work there snymore. The funny hours, the pettiness,feeling unfullfilled and bored.
Manged to prise myself out and saw a coworker. She sort of guessed that something wasn't right. I told her how unhappy I was at work and she said she knew and hoped she'd find something more satisfying.
I told her there and then I was going to quit. She gave me a big hug and told me to go for it, and that I was clever and confident and should do what my heart tells me is best. She's such a lovley lady and has had more than her fair share of heartache.
I promptly went to see the personell manager, and told her I was leaving. She was amazing,told me she would be sorry to see me go and would keep me posted if she knew of any other posts ( I work for local government).
My crush problem as I see it is probably due to my lack of satisfaction and boredom. If my job was more challenging, interesting etc, I'd probably have seen the funny side of my crushes behaiviour.
I'm not sure if he knows I'm leaving yet, he was busy in meetings, but I'm keeping my options open. If he wants to get me know him better, that's up to him.I'm not going to make a complete tit of myself. I feel like I've lifted a huge burden, I can breathe again.
One colleague remarked" You seem like your old self ".
I feel bloody great. I'll get a job, temping perhaps. I need a challange.

Good for you. You never know, Mr. Crush might come to his senses when he finds out you are leaving and declare undying love by the coffee machine.

Or ask you out.

I wrote a simple note him asking if he was up for a chat and my phone number/email etc.It remains to be seen if I have the guts to hand it to him.

don't think about it, just DO IT. stop procrastinating.

Just give him the note. It's perfect chance to do it if you are leaving, can you sneak it into his diary or something? Remember I am the one who has never asked a man out on a date in my life.

Handing it to him may work.

Give him the note!

You are adorable OP. I love this Austenesque thread.

This is gripping! I just read the whole thread. Do give the note!

Not posting just to watch this space, oh no , not me!

No way could I give the note today. Not because I'd chickened out, but big project on, staff working till about 9 pm tonight ( not me, contractual hours)
Realy braced up to crush. Said " Hello, how are you doing etc?", without stammering/blushing. He was a little bit shy but managed to speak.
I was brazen and told him I really liked his shirt and that it suited him, a compliment I would give to any man I knew.
Really went for and asked if I could get mim a coffee as he was really snowed under? He declined but thanked me,although he didn't look directly at me and looked very hot under the collar.
This sounds like pretty mundane stuff, but beleive me this has been a huge breakthrough for me.

Loving this thread! It reminds me of being at school and getting all flustered whenever I saw Mr Teen Dream.

Well done on your breakthrough today, OP, please keep us posted.

I can tell you it's a hell of a lot more difficult when you're in your forties.At least in your teens you have your mates to goad you and egg you on.
He looked super smart today, gorge fitted expensive looking shirt and black trousers instead of his usual grey M& S siut and white shirt.He'd had his hair cut and I detected a whiff of aftershave.