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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embracing A Single Life?

2 replies

MamaFab · 31/01/2013 22:37

Right. I?m thinking that as far as relationships go, i?ve had my last, and from now on im likely to be single. My thinking behind this is the following:

? Have not had a long term relationship for ten years
? Seem to be very bad at relationships (i can attract them, i just cant keep hold of them)
? Bad judge of character (only attract those who want to use me or control me)
? Have a 4 week old baby and the very thought of physical intimacy ever again now makes my blood run cold
? When mat leave finishes, will be full-time working single mum, and thus all spare time will be spent with baby, not leaving room for a partner
? Would be very wary about introducing men to baby, for fear of them leaving and upsetting baby/child, plus concerned about how they would treat him
? From personal experience and surveillance of those around me/on MN/etc, it just seems that a life without men would be a hell of a lot more simple and less stressful

At the moment i seem to be ok with this new reality, however, at only 30 I wonder if I?ll regret not trying harder to reignite my love life?

Is this possibly just hormones? Has anyone else ?retired? from relationships ( i think the phrase ?given up? implies this has been forced on me rather than a personal choice) and how has it been?

OP posts:
teenyweenytadpole · 31/01/2013 23:06

You have a four week old baby - not saying it is all hormones but maybe just a reflection of your priorities at the moment. Is it necessary for it to be all or nothing for ever, or can you just say this is how it is for the moment? Maybe when your baby is older, you may find your own needs/desires come back into focus. Maybe you will just meet someone and click. Maybe not. Sounds like spending time focussing on your and your baby is a good thing right now. Do you have friends/support? Because having a new baby can be a lonely time, and without a partner possibly harder still. Or simpler, I don't know! Either way, good luck, enjoy that baby, the time goes so quick XX

sparklyjumper · 31/01/2013 23:58

I'm sure you won't be single forever but right now don't even worry about analysing past relationships or thinking too far ahead. Just relax and enjoy your lovely baby. Later on when you're back at work and all in a routine then have a think about what you do and don't want and expect. So that if a man comes along you can be sure if he's right for you!

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