Relationships with other parents - uncaring

[whathappenedlastnight]

Hands up I have NC for this as I am a regular on here but to be honest the details of this will out me anyway but....

We live in a rural community with not many children. DS (5) has a friend very close of the same age and we take turns driving to and from school which is a 20 min drive. On the way back yesterday there was much bickering in the car. When getting out the car my son laughed at the other boy (not nice I know) the other boy pushed my son my son pushed back (you get the picture) and my son ended up pushed into the garage which resulted in 2 teeth missing (they were already wobbly) and his ear needing stitches. I do not believe the
other child intended to hurt him like that and he immediately said I?m sorry. He is a nice kid but they both have their moments.

I viewed it as a bit of pushing and shoving but what shocked me was the other mothers reaction ? she stepped over my crying bleeding child and flounced off home. Wtf. After getting out of a and e I switched my phone on had a text off her saying my DS ran head first into the door to get her son into trouble???

We have not spoken since so assume we are not car sharing today ? but should I reply and if so what should I say. If not how would you handle the awkward school gate situation.

I have had a bit of a chat with the school today just making sure that thinks are OK with them and to make sure they are no underlying issues without giving too much away ? and apparently they are fine at school.

Some space is obviously needed between the two kids?s and as there are so few children locally perhaps they are sick of each other. But; WWYD, would you text back? I did not view it as a huge deal between the 2 of them but am shocked by her lack of compassion.

I feel like saying ?yes his is ok thanks 4 stitches? but that is not constructive is it? Actually I feel like saying worse but won?t.

I need to set off soon,

would apprechite any advice

Sorry *appreciate any advice (blinking phone!)

I shall try to rise above it.

Got to get ready to go on the school run wish me luck!

Bye MN x

I'd just phone her and chat about it - exchanging texts about it is a recipe for trouble

Gosh her reaction wasn't the best was it, I can only imagine she was mortified and felt very awful and jumped in to ' blame' you son before you got a chance to blame hers. Tbh she owes you an appology for her reaction to what seems to me a tit for tat fallout between the kids that went to far but could easily been the other way round iykwim. I'm not sure what the next step is really but it's very bad for for her to not even check to see how your little one is!

Thanks for the response both of you.

CMOT: I agree and did not reply it is a face to face thing to be done when kids out of hearing range (which is rare for me)

katieelh: I know that?s why I checked with school in case she perceived there had been some injustice towards her son? None the wiser.

I will just try to keep clear I think. It's a shame as in such a small community our paths will cross and we helped each other out with child care but I perceive her reaction to this incident to be so callous I can't in good faith leave my ds in her care again.

It is a sad state of affairs, I am embarrassed that as a parent it has come to this

My first reaction would have been a text back like that which you suggested sending. On reflection everyone needs to cool down and things said or texted in haste may make things a lot worse than they need be. Even close friends this age push each other's buttons so this doesn't have to be hostile from here to eternity.

If possible when the right moment comes in the next 24 hours say something like, "Okay, things got out of control there, the boys need to make up sooner or later, let's draw a line under this and no more squabbles".

If she is reasonable she will see this is the way forward. It's tough when you live in a close knit area and don't have a variety of friends to fall back on. You want them to grow up looking out for each other even if not best of pals so try and sort this out very soon.

A similar thing happened with my son and his friend. He wasn't hurt as badly as your child though but enough for me to mention it to his teacher. It was embarassing for me to face the other Mum. She however was magnificent and invited my son to tea. My son and I accepted and the boys ,now in their late twenties, are still good friends.
Could you ignore the other Mum's appalling lack of empathy and invite her child to tea or to play?
I totally understand your concern if your child was in her care though. I hope your son wont lose his friend. Pity the other Mum doesn't share your approach.

What a class A bitch! She sounds like one of those mothers who live in the belief that their child can do no wrong.

I would be fuming! Not because it happened, but because of the way she has 'handled' it.

I think the best thing you can do is leave it. Don't reply. Smile and say hi when you bump into her. SHE owes you (and your son) an apology. Not the other way round. If she has a grain of decency, she'll soon see that and follow through. If she doesn't cut your losses, safe in the knowledge that however she dresses this up to other people, she's going to look like the arse.

Good luck.

I would just blank her.

Don't even try to talk to her unless she offers an unreserved apology for acting like a grade A bitch. Christ she even had time to think about it and still sent that text!

I think I'd have texted back:

"Would not have dreamed of blaming your DS as they were both as bad as each other, and he said sorry too bless him but TBH I am stunned at your accusation."

and then blanked.

But I think the others are right - not texting is better.