"if two people are meant to be together, then they will be...."

[Harpsichordcarrier]

says my mate, when another relationship fails because she is convinced that "one day" she will get together with her soul mate.
despite him being married to someone else on another continent....
It happened to me (sort of) as I ended up marrying "the one" after a couple of false starts.
so - Fate or Cop Out?

Zephyrcat... I am the same as you. I was with my ex for 8 yrs and its amazing to think I didnt conceive with him and thank god I didnt because he was a jealous, possesive man. I have now been with DH for 10 yrs, married for 6 of them and have just had our 3rd child. I think it was fate... we were friends for years and I didnt have a clue until a mutual friend told me he wanted more than friendship. The minute our friend said that, something inside just clicked and we have been together ever since and they have been the best 10 years of my life. Time really does fly by when your having fun.

second one in her case, pph

i hung out with my boyf at a level age at college even though he wasn't involved in our own college social scene. there was a lot of chemistry between us but we both say now that we were in denial at the time. after we left college we didn't meet up for another year, and then we met up twice and got on again like a house on fire but now, we say the time wasn't right although it didn't really enter our heads properly to get together anyway, both of us had a whole load of other sh$t going on in our lives. We then didn't see each other for 8 years until my other a level friend bumped into another guy we were at college with (who are now also together!), and a few months later they bumped into boyf.....and now here we are! :) we spent our first night together out all night in the park towards the end of my relationship with my ex, and this overwhelming feeling of "this is what i've been looking for all this time!" came over me. (was still in denial however, trying to convince myself that it was all platonic! ) so in one way, yes, it feels like fate. but like i said, i simply don't trust it. besides, a month after we officially got together i found out i was pg with someone else's child which REALLY puts a spanner in the works for the idea of it being "right", we have had to fight for our relationship ever since.

so perhaps i just need to trust my ability to deal with whatever life throws at me, huh, rather than try to believe in fate? also it's kind of a nice idea that we choose to be with someone, me and boyf have worked bloody hard at our relationship and it has taken an awful lot of commitment & compromise on both sides to stay together. if it was fate, it would be easy, wouldn't it, and it would mean boyf is with me through no choice of his own ...