DH refuses to discuss sex;: no sex for almost a year.

[BelleFleur]

Hi, my DH refuses to discuss the total absence of sex in our lives. We have dd (2.7 yrs) and ds (4.5 months). What to think about it? He is always sort of dismissive of anything I say and only does what he wants when he wants. What does all this mean? Are there other mums in this situation?

Having children is great but they are a full time, demanding job in itself.
Maybe your dh is worn out or even feels like his independence and relationship with you has changed.
Being from just a couple to having independants can put a huge strain on your relationship.
Does he help out with the children alot
or is he just being selfish and leaving you to do the job lot????

maybe he feels trapped by having 2 kids
maybe he doesnt want sex as he may see it as another child on the way
I dont really know
but you have to sit down and discuss this together
if he refuses to discuss anything and carry on being dismissive towards you
start being dismissive of him and his needs
eg his dinner, clean clothes, creature comforts etc
until he can stop this and discuss the situation properly
good luck sweetie
xxx

The lack of sex is much less alarming to me than the not-listening problem. I would seriously recommend couples counselling or similar.

(Just to check: you're not discussing sex problems in the bedroom, right? Sitting him down and calmly talking to him, when there are no kids underfoot, and nothing you've got to do, is the only possibility here.)

Mine too, if it helps. We're fine, as a couple, and after a lot of years - and neither of us are 40 yet - I've realised I have a choice, him or a sexual relationship.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it is a choice