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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drawing a line under a friendship - how to?

4 replies

Cerubina · 30/01/2013 13:45

Hope this doesn't make me sound too callous, but someone who was formerly a close friend has drifted so far away from me that I no longer feel we have anything in common and indeed I have found interacting with her so annoying when it's happened that I just want to draw a line under things and let it go.

But this week she's emailed and suggested meeting up (with another friend) in a way that doesn't brook the possibility that I might not want to.

Any ideas for how I could get out of it and terminate the friendship? I feel it would be too fake to go along for the sake of it (and would also be a waste of a rare night out, because it would be annoying and dull), but equally it feels harsh to say I've no interest in meeting up or to agree and then cancel on the day!

I guess I'm looking for a way of telling her that she shouldn't bother keeping in touch with me, but without being too outspoken about it. Very English.

I haven't gone into the whys and wherefores of why I have "fallen out of like" with her, but I can say that I'm a good friend who tries harder than the average to keep things afloat with friends throughout changes in circumstances, but she didn't reciprocate and has turned into quite a different person from one I want to expend energy on.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 30/01/2013 13:46

Just say 'no thanks'. If they're the bossy type and persist even after you've refused then give them the real reason. If this was an unwanted boyfriend you wouldn't hedge it...

kalidanger · 30/01/2013 13:59

I was a bit callous when I had to dump a friend. I had a long list if the whys and wherefores (which perhaps would have done her good to hear BUT no one would have been delighted in the least to be on the receiving end of) but in the end I ignored her until she went away Sad Not terribly nice of me but I couldn't think of what else to do, and whw I was worrying about it I stopped caring.

kalidanger · 30/01/2013 14:00

While, not whw

Footscrub · 30/01/2013 14:40

I've had to do this recently.

It took me a while - just gradually became busy / had other plans perhaps one in 3 occasions becoming one in 2 and so on.

I've tried to be gentle about it - don't want it all to come back and bite me on the bum

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