hi i need some advice. there is an awful lot of information to keep it simple i will try and list the relevant info in points
i lived with my physically sexually verbally emotionally abusive husband for 7.5 years before i left him
i remarried and have a 3 year old with my new husband, i also have a 19yr old all of us get on, my 14 yr old doesnt get on with any of us
my 14 yr old is very challenging she has never really had a relationship with her dad and is pretty unaware of the abuse i suffered, she does not believe what she has heard because her dad brainwashes and manipulates.
she wanted to see her dad but he hardly ever showed when he said he would and spent the time asking how my husband was treating her and about himself
she has for the last few months refused to talk to her dad now he has started to bother with her (last 6 mts) avoids conversations with him, ignores text
ex has been abusive to exgirlfriend too as recently as 4 mths ago, she wanted to marry him until last few days, this is the strength of his manipulation, he has bitten a piece out of her arm while she slept, and recently punched her in the face while sober, has not drank for 2 years now
she left to stay at her dads 5 days ago, she refused to speak to me, she says that i disgust her because she thinks i have allowed her step dad, my husband to abuse her verbally for the last two years. i have stepped in on occasion when swearing has been involved and once when he pushed her. the main offence has been a lot of nit-picking, ie pick up you stuff, calling her horrible child because she has reduced me to tears or said something really offensive to him. i have taken this as 6 of one and half a dozen of the other as there has been blame all round. i have offered to get my husband to go to his dads for 2 weeks to give us some time to talk, have the head master mediate between us and suggested she has counselling if she feels abused, i have said maybe it would work if she spent half the week with me and half with her dad, and when she is here my husband stays at his dads.
i have met up with her once since she left and i had to meet her on my own with my ex, he says i should have kicked my husband out, she just says to me why have i stood by and let my husband abuse her for the last two years and to tell her how i felt while he was doing this. he wants her, himself and me to have a friendship, i despise him, and is interested in knowing how quick i can sort out the child benefit! his ex tells me he is loving it
i am sick inside i can't sleep or eat
please help,