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Original poster

Honestly,, do you moan?

26 replies

Lovemyfamily · 28/01/2013 22:35

I've been told by my DH I moan too much,,
Is he right that having a moan a day isn't healthy?
I see it as getting through the day,,
Do you moan?

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 28/01/2013 22:36

Non stop. But so does DH!

BertieBotts · 28/01/2013 22:36

All the time. Mostly to myself really.

Helltotheno · 28/01/2013 22:37

Only in the sack

.. ok really, otherwise no, constant moaning isn't appealing (I believe)...

sarahseashell · 28/01/2013 22:38

no not much and people's moaning gets on my wick

Hassled · 28/01/2013 22:39

I don't usually moan for ages but when I do I bore even myself. I can take moaning to dizzying new heights. DH is more of a daily, low-level moaner - every day something's gone just a little bit wrong. I wait until I have a stockpile of things that are wrong and then go crazy.

PimpMyHippo · 28/01/2013 22:39

Everyone needs a whinge every now and then, but it can be very wearing spending time with someone who complains constantly. Everything in moderation...

tumbletumble · 28/01/2013 22:40

I'm not a moaner and I find it depressing when others do.

AnonAndOnAndOn · 28/01/2013 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CuriousMama · 28/01/2013 23:08

I have the odd whinge.

Once a day? That's not excessive. My mam moans all the time. I just change the subject as it does get annoying.

catladycourtney1 · 28/01/2013 23:08

Only if I'm in ill or in pain. I very rarely moan about anything else but when I'm suffering I could moan for England.

Charbon · 28/01/2013 23:18

In general I can't abide moaners because they suck the joy out of everything and their negativity is infectious.

But it depends what you're moaning about doesn't it?

If it's because he's a lazy arse or because he keeps promising to do something that never gets done, you'd be justfied in moaning. But even that's not a productive strategy long-term because the moaning becomes like white noise and gets sounded out and ignored.

WaterBiscuit · 28/01/2013 23:24

yep, I moan, like a whingey old moany thing. But I wouldn't do it if he just DID WHAT HE SAID HE WOULD THE FIRST BLOODY TIME!!
Seriously though, I hate doing it. Easy cycle to get into, difficult to break.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/01/2013 09:05

I don't think moaning is healthy. Vague, low-level griping is self-indulgent, solves nothing and serves only to make life look bleak for the moaner and very miserable for anyone unlucky enough to be around them. Constructive criticism, genuine complaints, being assertive.... all good stuff. Not moaning.

Sugarice · 29/01/2013 09:11

I don't moan, it isn't worth it.

My dh is currently enjoying a moan fest about ds1-17 and what he considers his selfish attitude; I just say to dh 'for goodness sake stop bloody moaning about him and tell him'. it is beyond annoying!

JackieandJudy · 29/01/2013 09:12

Not too much. About once a month I suddenly catch myself mid-rant and realise that it's that time of the month again. I guess I might do it more if I had proper reason. My Dh is one of those people who really counts his blessings, it's hard to moan in the face of one of those!

notso · 29/01/2013 09:24

at helltotheno

What kind of moaning, in general about things or moaning at DH for not doing things/doing them 'wrong'?

I am a bit complainy at the moment as I have sprained my knee badly, so am stuck in the house all week with a 2 year old and 9 month old, (I also have an 8yo and 12yo) can't do things round the house very easily and DH is not really being as helpful as he should.

My sister and I often have long moany phone conversations about our various annoying in-laws, but it's funny and helps to release a bit of tension, and makes me feel better because hers are worse than mine!

FollicallyEnhancedFreak · 29/01/2013 09:25

Nope, I may have an occasional rant but constant moaning is dull, I don't enjoy being around moaners.

Springdiva · 29/01/2013 10:47

My DH is a pessimist and so I suppose moans about stuff, the plane will be late, the plumber won't come, the garage are no good.

It is very annoying and depressing imo. And I avoid him at home.

rubyrubyruby · 29/01/2013 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ionasky · 29/01/2013 11:21

i think i do moan a fair bit - my dh finds it a bit trying too and sometimes makes a comment about either making a change or stopping the moaning - it's mostly down to upbringing - my mum is a championship league moaner herself and i'm used to it - it's really a form of conversation. I'm trying to do it less, it's an uphill battle though! If I had 10 minutes on my own each day to decompress, that might help!

Jossysgiants · 29/01/2013 12:20

My husband and I have become a pair of moaners, him more so than me really. His first words when he gets up in the morning are moany. It feeds on itself and just escalates in my view. I am going to make a conscious effort to stop and try and express myself in more positive ways in the manner of a middle aged Pollyanna.

Original poster

Lovemyfamily · 29/01/2013 12:41

I kind of moan to myself really, ‘oh for god sake' if I knock myself or things are just not going the way I want them to, i tend to give myself a hard time, I to think its down to my up bringing,, I also swear when I'm stressed too, hardly ever when I'm balanced,, it's more so when I'm due my period I get very irritated and snappy and moan then as soon as my period comes it all goes away.. And I feel like this big weight has lifted...
But saying that housework makes me also moan to myself especially when you have finished one room go into another, do that and have to do the one I've just done again.. That really winds me up..

I'm considering myself to be a big moaner,, I can't help it though,, and I totally hate listening to myself sometimes...

OP posts:

DopamineHit · 29/01/2013 14:20

Letting off steam occasionally is fine, relentless moaning is poisonous in a relationship. DW has periods of being a fairly heavy duty moaner. And not (at least most of the time) about me. It completely kills communication since there are only two ways to respond. You can agree and thus become complicit in a dreary world view or present a more positive outlook which is then usually countered by "oh you never let me express myself".

Moaning is the grown up version of the five year old stamping their feet and screaming "not fair, not fair". Of course things aren't fair - adults are supposed to realise that.

Sorry - moaning a bit myself now...... (does moaning about moaning count as moaning....?)

purrpurr · 29/01/2013 14:24

Those that don't let others moan because it's 'negative' are stiflers, normally professionally so. Luckily I didn't marry one. We have a small whinge/rant then we let it go, it's good to release it rather than keep it bottled up.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 29/01/2013 14:39

I'm a definite moaner, as were both my parents. To be honest I have no idea how else to be. Tell me how! Seems like all the time things go wrong, some weeks can feel like an endless round of no money, tantrums, bank charges, mess, rows, illness, bad weather, broken appliances and inconsiderate relatives... are you supposed to put a positive spin on everything? Not mention anything bad? It doesn't seem realistic.

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