Living with dh is like living with a black cloud

[orangeandlemons]

Dh is in the middle of labyrinthitis. He has had it for about 6 weeks. I have had it and it is truly horrible illness, so I have a lot of sympathy.

However I am beginning to dread the evenings. He just withdraws and doesn't even speak. He then goes to bed really early without even speaking to me. I know he is ill, but is managing to go to work. I also know he's very tired, but he has become obsessed with the whole thing, and it is like being in a dungeon every evening.

How can I either stop him obsessing, or help him, or even make him civil again? Or am I expecting too much?

How long is the labyrinthitis expected to last?

Yes, you have to cut him some slack if he is I'll, tired and in pain. But not let the demands of illness tip over into a wider dismissive attitude to you. Without knowing how ill he is, it's hard to call how badly he's behaving.

You'll note I said "how badly". Even if all he feels like doing is crashing out, he could still manage a rueful grin and friendly word. It does sound like a communication problem. What are the weekends (or other non-working) days like? That might be the time, when he is less likely to be tired, to talk about the impact his current evening scions are having.

I know when I had labyrinthitis I felt really quite distressed by it - I suppose it depends how much exposure you've had to feeling "unwell"; in my case it was very little and I was quite panicked/weepy by quite how awful I felt. I was quite shocked, I think. Has your DH ever been ill, other than colds/flu etc, before?

Poor man he must feel awful. I had vertigo for only a few weeks and that was debilitating enough this is worse.
It must be very hard to live with him, he probably looks fine, but you know he's not and really can't do anything to help.
Have you asked him if theres anything you can do to help?

Why is he going to work? If his symptoms are as bad as you describe he should talk to his GP, tell them that the problem isn't going away (6 weeks is a long time), get some advice, treatment, medication or whatever is available and also get signed off work. I have a lot of sympathy for someone who is ill but none for someone who 'battles on' making themselves more poorly and their family miserable as a result.

It's strange that he has something serious, with no observable symptoms, that you had recently but is relatively rare and yet he can still go to work

The work thing is what gets me. He isn't well enough to go to work IMO, but is insisting on going. He is then so wiped out when he comes home that he is too exhausted to do anything. He has had tests which do appear to point to a viral infection which is causing vertigo. He has been better tonight.....

My ex had labrynthitis once too...he was also a selfish, moody, entitled a'hole....just saying

Hi I'm just wondering did your husband make a full recovery? I'm at week 9 of this virus and its awful

I feel really sorry for anyone who gets Labyrinthitis, it is an awful illness, distressing as well as debilitating. My GP prescribed Betahistine, which eased the symptoms but it was months before I was anywhere near back to normal.

I used to crawl off to bed so I could lie down before I fell down.

If he drives he may have to notify the DVLA because it is one of the conditions on their list of ailments they need to be informed about.