He knew I wouldn't want to hear it, but he really regrets getting me pregnant. I am 14 weeks pregnant with our first child, which we actively tried for. We each have 2 children from previous relationships, and there are blended family issues causing tension at the moment. I've been getting quite ill with regualr blackouts and am still suffering morning sickness.
We are going to try to make things work, but I am gutted to the core. It is not something that was said in the heat of a row, just in a "let's have a chat about what is wrong" talk.
I feel really upset - he is even talking about separating, and that his mum has offered to lend him money to get a deposit on a rented flat. We bought our forever home in October, and no way can I afford to pay the mortgage myself. I feel lost. I appreciate he is entitled to his own feelings, and to express these, but it doesn't hurt any less that he (a) is contemplating abandoning his pregnant wife and (b) has said he regrets the baby.
If he wants to separate, which he has said will be the case if our plan to improve things doesn't work, I really have no idea what will happen. I know this is a lot of what ifs, but the fact he has said how much he regrets all this, and that in his head he is at the stage where he has spoken to his mum who has offered him money, suggests that his mind may be made up already.
I think I just need some hand holding. He is/was my best friend, my happy ever after, only now it doesn't feel so much like that.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
So DH said...
wavesandsmiles · 28/01/2013 14:18
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh Waves, really feel for you. How can he say he has done nothing wrong? How can he justify texting OW telling them you are over, or that he wants your new baby gone? 
Can your Mum move in for a couple of days when she's back to help you while you are so poorly? (and make like difficult for the bastard him?
Get a good sleep and hope you get some answers at the docs tomorrow.
sunshine I am so sorry to hear that you are going through similar. I wish you lots of strength back 
Writing everything down is a good idea. I am worried that if he doesn't go I will fall into the let's try again trap, which I know would be disastrous. If I write it all down, then I have a reference point, to remind me of what he is really like. In an hour I am seeing my GP, and will tell her everything. I feel dreadful this morning - woke up, retched, had water, vomited. Have passed out once already, and had to let the children go to school themselves. To be fair it is about a 3 minute walk, and patrolled crossings for the 2 roads, and they have done it before, but I like walking to school with them, practising spellings in advance of tests etc. But today I feel so poorly I just couldn't.
When he left this morning, he said, let me know if the doctor signs you off and I won't take a half day to collect your DCs (mum is away and she usually has them after school so until then it has been a juggling act with family helping out some days, and the odd half day between us). He didn't say, let me know what the GP says about you, or if there are any further concerns over the blackouts etc. Just further evidence that he doesn't care at all. Which helps. It helps because it makes me dislike him even more, and lets me see more of his true self.
I am really trying to avoid thinking too far ahead, although I know I will have to at some stage. Things like the gigs I have to play at during the last 6 weeks or so, where he was going to help me get there, and set up, and then the giving birth, and then having a newborn at home. I need him to be gone by that stage. Well, I need him to be gone now.
And the silliest thing bothering me right now.....Cat poo. FFS. He had taken responsibility for emptying the cat litter tray since I got the BFP. I'll have to get rubber gloves and clothes pegs (for my nose) and get on with tackling that going forwards.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.