The end

[MurderOfGoths]

What do I need to know/think about to end a marriage.
Especially anything relevant to:

• 10 mo DS
• living in a council property (joint tenancy)
• being on income support in DH's name (despite having disability issues myself)

I think emotional and practical support are the two main things to think about. Emotional because, whatever happens, you will need friends and family. Practical because none of us live on fresh air. For the housing situation talk to your local authority and see what they suggest. For benefits the www.turn2us.org.uk site isn't a bad place to start. For matters relating to divorce, maintenance, access to your DS you will need legal advice. Do you have bank accounts? Savings?

We have a bank account which IS goes in to, though it's only in his name. Suddenly very sorry for not listening to all the clever MNers over the years. Credit cards are in both names.

I have about £50 in my own account. Other than that, no savings.

I know my dad will help me as much as he can though.

no practical advice but I'm sorry x

Just being money-focused for a second, if you have your own bank account that's a good start. You'll need things like child benefit and any other state aid to start going into that account as soon as possible. Please check that link I mentioned above... www.turn2us.org.uk... because they have a very good benefits checker function which will get you started on where to apply and to what you could be entitled as a single parent rather than part of a couple. When you say credit cards are in both names do you mean they are joint?

Glad your Dad is going to help you. If you search MN for posts by 'olgaga' she has given quite a lot of good sources of information for people in your situation in the past.

This blog is by olgaga too
surviveseparation.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/separation-and-divorce-advice-and-links.html?m=1
... hope it helps.

Sorry you are having to go through this.

Did you get my email sweetie? X

Thank you for all your help and support.

DH has agreed to a divorce, which is both what I wanted to hear and my worst nightmare. I'm simultaneously relieved and distraught.

We had a long chat.

Ideally what we want to do is have me as DS's primary carer, but organise things so DS spends alternate weeks with both of us. Because we think that in the future it would work out better for him. Neither of us are keen on a weekday/weekend split.

Of course this means one of us keeping the flat (1 bed top floor) and one getting a new place. We think it might be preferable for me to attempt to get a 2 bed, partly as I'll be primary carer and partly because I have mobility issues which means I'd struggle in a top floor flat on my own. Suspect this is going to be a nightmare.

I'm going to go see DH tomorrow.