My longstanding friend is unhappy in her marriage as she claims her husband is boring and no longer exciting. The thing is, he hasn't changed from the time she met him. She has.
She confided in me some time ago that she had embarked on an affair with a married man she met at the gym and they've been seeing each other for around 2 years. They spend a lot of time together, go away on holidays, weekends away and basically act as a couple. His circle of friends accept her as his bit on the side and amazingly, his wife has never discovered his deceit despite them living in quite a small community.
As far as the guy is concerned, he's told her he likes his life the way it is, will never leave his wife and grown up children. Any hint of his wife discovering anything about his affair sends him off in a flat spin. This is not the first affair he's had and all the others have been discovered by his wife who for some reason has stuck by him.
My friend believes he's good looking, fit and absolutely loaded (I've seen him briefly and he's definitely not the first two) and that she's lucky to have him. She's absolutely besotted. She also knows he's just using her for sex and at the first hint of their affair coming out into the open, she'll be kicked to the curb and that'll be the end of that. She excuses his behavior claiming that he loves his wealth so much, he'd never compromise it for anyone including her.
Her dh is definitely aware of the situation although I'm not sure understands the depth of her feelings for this guy. He is so desperate for her not to leave him, it's almost like he's put the blinkers on and refuses to acknowledge it.
I've tried to talk to her about the fact she's just being used, she has a husband of 25 years who adores her, a fantastic home and no financial worries but all she sees is this pig of a guy. She's in her mid-40s, intelligent, attractive but doesn't even work anymore as she wants to keep herself available and at the bf's beck and call. I verge from trying to talk her out of the relationship to suggesting if she's not happy with her dh to leave and stand on her own two feet to staying out of it for months at a time, hoping she'll see it for what it is. Or, hoping his wife will find out and he'll dump her leaving her to get her own life on track again.
My greatest worry is a selfish one and that is, what if her dh asks me anything about the relationship. We don't live close but I get the distinct impression she occasionally tells him she's with me when she's with the bf. What if he were to call , expecting her to be here? I don't want to tell him any lies (and probably wouldn't) but at the same time, I want to protect my friend and hope she comes to her senses before any real damage is done.
Also, I'm close to her mum, dad and sister and they would be mortified to find out I knew about it and did nothing.