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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why can't the twunt just admit it and move on?

10 replies

duffybeatmetoit · 27/01/2013 23:58

H left six months ago on our 4th anniversary saying he had made a huge mistake in marrying me. He had an affair during the marriage during which he sent me texts clearly meant for her though he always denied it . (even one which was along the lines of "duffy said xyz cu later xx).

That relationship fizzled out but now he has got involved with someone else who he swears is just one mate amongst a crowd in a club he joined before the split. Most of his FB posts are liked by her and vice versa, the photos he posts are taken by her or are of her and she gets mentioned in his posts. When DD went to stay at xmas she went on every family outing and other family members tagged her as being with them.

It doesn't bother me but I do get a bit hacked off with him not admitting it as my extended family and friends (especially my DM) all see his posts and ask what's going on. Can't really see them all defriending him en masse at my request.

Last time he came on an access visit he phoned MIL to say that he wouldn't be seeing them that evening as he had been invited out. After he left I got a text to say he was stuck in traffic and didn't know how long he would be followed by half a dozen kisses. I sent one back saying he had sent the message to the wrong person only for him to claim it was for me but his predictive text was playing up. How stupid does he think I am?

Anybody got any idea why he can't just admit it? Our relationship is dead and buried. I have made it clear I don't give a toss who he is seeing but I do expect to be told when DD meets any girlfriends so that I can answer any questions that might come

OP posts:
duffybeatmetoit · 27/01/2013 23:59

...my way as a result (sorry phone not co-operating).

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tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 28/01/2013 01:03

He just doesn't want to think badly of himself so he would rather hide it. If he admits it to you it interferes with his image of himself as 'innocent'. Plus it sounds like you have kids so he doesn't want to be seen to be the bad one.

He is a twat and you are well rid. Good luck with moving onwards and upwards!

AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 01:08

Because he is a knob

Pure and simple

Stop trying to understand anything more complex than he is a knob

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/01/2013 09:30

Why are you following him on FB?

Isabeller · 28/01/2013 09:33

What they said. Detach.

Isabeller · 28/01/2013 09:35

italics? oops.

I find "My behaviour reflects on me, his behaviour reflects on him" a useful thought.

duffybeatmetoit · 28/01/2013 10:04

Cogito my friends and family watch him on FB as they find his posts a source of amusement and tell me about them.

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AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 10:11

tell them to stop reporting his ridiculous exploits to you

You don't need to know, and you don't want to know

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/01/2013 10:12

Tell them to stop doing it. It's not good for your emotional health and it's preventing you from moving on constructively. Tell them you're not interested

duffybeatmetoit · 29/01/2013 07:33

I think it would make life so much easier for DD if he admitted it. If he was upfront about having a girlfriend she would be able to accept more readily why he doesn't live here and why he won't be coming back.

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