distressed

[bossmum41]

hi ex has children on wednesdays but every thursday morning he brings them home as they play up for him why he brings them back i dont know as he should be taking to school so of course they play up some more and he loses temper and drives off leaving me to deal with children even though im working,the children are then late for school and upset,me too! they have been late so much that school have approached me with their concerns. i tried telling ex but he just doesnt listen. children have told me they dont like staying as he shouts a lot. who can i contact with my concerns about the childrens welfare when with him.
He is going to court to ask for the children every two weeks for 5 days. he cant even cope with one night and every other weekend.

local children's services would be the first point of call to discuss your concerns. If you talk to the school first the head or parent liaison officer can write to confirm the children's lateness on Thursdays and any behavioural difficulties they have observed.

thanks x

PS sorry about your ex....it is true they are ex for a reason, usually many reasons

Unacceptable that he brings them back instead of taking them to school-not accepting responsibility fully. Is it new to him have sole responsibility for them or did he regularly take sole charge of them when you were together? Is he struggling with his parenting/are there other factors in his life making him stressed out and being too shouty with them/being generally angry?

no he had the children when together but now when he has them they usually end up at his mothers which is on the same road as me so the kids just come home anyway.you ask what in his life is making him stressed well probably the ow making demands and him having to keep her happy while dealing with his other life, such hardship. hes angry alright probably with himself for ending up the way things have.

ive rang childrens services they say to stop contact . he is going to kick off as its his weekend.

Yup...he will but that is his problem...as cogito would say...disengage, detach and don't expect him to behave reasonably when he never has before

Most parents would react and get upset if,all of a sudden they are stopped from seeing their kids.Its' natural. I hope this is a wake-up call for him to start stepping up to the mark/being responsibile/putting the dc first. Is he capable of that?

i thought he was ! when he split from ow for 4 months he was great now hes changed someone i dont know very selfish.

I hope, for your sake, and the dc's, he steps up to the mark and realises the dc's happiness is the most important thing now. And that,dumping them back,in an upset state has consequences and they come first.

i keep telling him that but he just cant see that his behaviour is so wrong. He knows what it is like as his dad did the same to him.

Even people like him know what they're doing is wrong. They may shout and stamp, try to blame others or whatever but they know they're out of line. Glad you've been given the green light to stop contact. Contact is supposed to be what's best for the children. Being dumped with granny or made late for school is not what's best for the children.