Why don't I want sex anymore??

[LostinLondon]

I've been with my husband for over 20 years and love him as much as ever. We've never been the most highly sexed couple in the world and in the last few years have fallen into a sort of "once a month" pattern.

However I've noticed in recent months, I just don't seem to ever want sex. It's not just I don't want sex with my husband - I just don't want sex at all. I never think about it, fantasise about anyone (not even George Clooney so I know I'm in trouble) and wouldn't even dream of masturbating. Absolutely zilch libido.

What's wrong with me?? Is my sex life really over at the grand old age of 43??I've promised my kind and patient husband that I'll try to find out what the problem is because the poor bloke could really do with getting his leg over.

Help!!

Could it be hormonal? I know that I don't always want it, but if I get started it normally works out ok in the end...

You're probably just bored. If sex has never been a big deal in your relationship and you're both not too bothered about the 'once a month' routine then it's going to be about as exciting as a Direct Debit. Your sex-life should be anything but over at 43 but I think you'll have to drag yourselves out of your collective torpor, give sex some proper attention and remember.... 'use it or lose it'.

Are you affectionate towards him apart from not wanting sex?

I agree that it could be hormonal and a chat with the GP could remedy it if you want to get to the bottom of a lack of libido.

I always find the less I have it, the less I want it. When you get out of the habit, the feelings fall a bit flat for me too.

We're still very attracted to one another and very affectionate.

Too simplistic to say its just boredom. Of course when you've slept with one person for the 20 years, there's going to be a degree of laziness about sex. But that doesn't account for my general loss of sexual appetite. I'm not bored of George Clooney.

Think the hormonal point is a good one. Visit to GP on cards. Thx

Lazy, bored, uninterested... I think it's all the same thing. The thing that keeps sex exciting and libido strong is anticipation, desire, variety. Any hint of a schedule or that things have become formulaic or predictable and why would you get excited?

Talk to your GP, not to MN.

According to your comments, this is physical, not emotional. Therefore, GP has the chemical answers for you.