DH being controlling or am I over reacting?

[Flumpyflumps]

DH is going away to his mums for the weekend on Friday.
He is taking DD too and I am clear to stay here and have some time to myself (nice!)
HOWEVER. I just said to him I'd most likely go out with my friend sat as it was her birthday this week, and I'd probably take my 'spends' money out for that.

DH thinks I should wait and not spend it this weekend, and if I over spent he Would Not be bailing me out and not to drink too much as its so expensive.

I had up til this point been under the impression that we had equal rights to the money and that I was in fact an adult that could budget already!!

Gah! So annoyed, AIBU?

Um, I think what pretty much everyone said was that the behaviour was not acceptable, after ascertaining that the OP is not a wild spendthrift. It appears not to be part of a pattern, the OP has called him on it, he has apologised. I know one person said LTB but she quite clearly said only if there was a lot more to his controlling behaviour than this one incident - and with tongue in cheek if I read it correctly. In fact the main consensus seems to have been that he's jealous over DW having a nice weekend away with her mates while he's at mum's with the kids. And indeed, the DH himself has said so.

But of course, your name is TotallyBS so dredging up imaginary insults is only to be expected.

Ah well, at least he's apologised. Glad you called him on it. I know I'm generalising a bit, but I think that a lot of men will try this kind of shit now and again to see of they can get away with it, and be 'in charge'

Let me add, though, it is quite scary how often a minor marital event someone's complained about on here has turned out to be the wee tip of a fuck-off great iceberg. Hence it makes sense to look past the presenting issue, as they used to say in CAB training. In this case, fortunately, it appears the presenting issue is the issue, and easily solved by the OP telling her H not to be an arse. I'm sure we're all very glad of it.

Thanks for all your replies.
I'm fairly sure now that, as Sweet says, he was just trying it on, I nipped it in the bud and all will be fine.
Sorry I think I did over react by posting but just wanted to get a second opinion.
Just off to research those £150 cocktails!!

Flumpy's post

He apologised, but yet still found a way to make you feel guilty about it.
"I'm jealous"
"Why?"
"I don't know"
"Fuck off then"

I think is the correct response.

Sweet seraphim is bang on the money, they like to be the boss, I'm sure it's genetic glad he's seen sense. I like the term spends btw. Enjoy your night out.

Pictish I admire your hard line stance but I think OP is better off being tolerant of his attitude, in his shoes I'd be a bit jealous too and not begrudge OP a good time but i would want her to know how I felt, as a friend.

They can fuck right off 'being the boss' as far as I'm concerned bringmeroses

I fucking HATE being told what to do, and when it comes from a man, it just makes my hackles rise, and I always completely overreact.

Yes...except he didn't just let her know 'as a friend' - he made a point of quizzing her and pretty much trying to influence how she spent her time and money, didn't he?

Who cares if he's jealous? So what? That's no excuse, and being jealous is pathetic anyway. Aw diddums.

He is making his issue her issue, and as such can do one, no?

I have no tolerance for that sort of crap. Thankfully.

If you do, more fool you.

I can tell Sweet!
He's under no illusion that I will be doing my own thing all weekend once I've finished work Friday eve (note to self may be late for drunk thread!) and that our free time and money is split equally.

I've shown him this thread and he now feels a right knob for even commenting at all.

Friends don't make other friends feel bad about having a nice time anyway. Unless they're an emotionally manipulative tossbag.

Aww I am fond of men. I think the telling you what to do thing is kind of endearing, you don't have to take it seriously!
Polish I am a bit old fashioned, I believe in tolerance and compassion, I honestly don't know how people stay together without it. It works both ways.

There are no words....

Sorry I mean Pictish. I agree about emotional manipulation but OP has called him on this and he's seen error of his ways. We will save them from themselves with MN

Ok sounds good!

bringmeroses...endearing?? Not on my watch!

they like to be the boss, I'm sure it's genetic

What a load of sexist shite.

In about ten days I'll have pmt, at which point I will smack myself on the head for the simpering crap I've just posted and encourage anyone who asks to leave the bastard!!!

a bunch of damaged women on here... I think not. An incident like this can be a turning point in a relationship if not handled properly. I'm glad Flumpy called her dh on this and it's all sorted now.

Enjoy your night out Flumpy.

Numberlock I'm being a bit tongue in cheek. Didn't mean to offend.

Yeah...I think it's one of those occasions when intonation is everything. I think bringmeroses was being deliberately condescending towards men in her posts there...

Like a pat on the head "there there silly man, playing at being in charge" sort of a thing?

I didn't get it at first...but then I did.

I guess I wanted a second opinion because I've seen threads on here in which things turn out to be worse than they seem iyswim?
And wanted to ask if this was something that could develop into a more controlling attitude.

I think as I've nipped it in the bud it will be fine and I know that people have much worse situations to be thinking of.