So if your DP forgot to tell you someone had died how would you feel?

[TheLateMrPamuk]

My uncle is a bit of an odd character but we all love him loads. He has lived alone since my gran died last year and we all look out for him, go down and visit and have him over for meals and stuff.
He popped in yesterday on his way home from work. He does this every so often and has a cuppa. He is a man of few words but was quieter than usual yesterday. But it was really busy with school runs and cooking so I left dp sat chatting with him while I went and picked dc up.
He went about ten minutes after I got back but was hovering in the hallway like he wanted to say something, I just told him to be careful in the ice and to take care.
Dsis just messages me and said did you know uncle A's best friend has died? I was shocked when she said it happened yesterday and baffled he didn't say anything while he was here and told DP so he pipes up that he told him yesterday while I was picking dc up!!!
I am so angry and upset that he didn't tell me when I got back. I let him go home to an empty house and grieve for his best friend and he probably thinks I didn't give a shit.
My sister only found out an hour ago so it has been a full day since uncle found out an he has been alone.
To say I am furious is an understatement.

That was crap of your DP. Your poor Uncle. Can you call him to explain and invite him over?

Has your DP apologised?

Did you ask your dp why he didn't tell you?
Did he comfort your uncle himself?

I've just spoke to him and apologized. He sounded choked up.
He said he's sorry I just can't see how you would forget something like that it's not like my uncle is a random person to him he has known him for 20 years.

Why are you so upset?

He forgot. Its a big thing to forget, but its not like he purposely kept it from you. he may not have wanted to say anything in front of the uncle or perhaps uncle asked him to say something after he (uncle) had left.

Being furious isn't going to solve or help anyone.

He said it just went out of his head because we were all rushing round. I think something like that is too important to forget.

It is a big thing to forget, but these things happen.

He has apologised. What else can he do or would you like him to do?

I'm upset for him and think DP could have taken me to one side and told me quickly.

Maybe he didn't want to mention it again in front of your uncle but he should have told you afterwards at least. Surprised your uncle didn't tell you himself though.

It's the sort of thing I would easily forget especially if I didn't know the person myself.

Mil has had so many friends, cousins etc due recently it all blurs into one.

I would be annoyed too. Your poor uncle.

Ok thats what he could have done.

But he didn't. He didn't do it out of malice or to be hurtful. He has apologised. where do you want to go from here?

Please remember that no one is perfect and dragging this out to make he feel worse could bite you in the butt. You can't know, 100%, that you will never mess up.

Why didn't your uncle tell you?

Also there must a reason your uncle chose not to tell you himself.

When my uncle arrived my MIL was here I think he didn't want to say in front of her and then I went on school run and he told DP.
I knowit is done it isn't the end of the world I'm just sad for my uncle but I'm not ranting at dp. I'm just venting on here.