Divorce/Seperation

[cleoismycat]

Can anyone recommend a decent book to cope with this process? Not the practicalities as such but more the emotional side?
thanks

What specific emotional problems are you suffering? Everyone's experience is going to be slightly different depending on the circumstances of the divorce.

overwhelming fear!! just wonted to read something supportive. also have DD who is 4

Fear of...?

As cogito says.....fear of what?

Fear of being alone post divorce?
Fear of the financial implications?
Fear of the impact on your DD?
Fear of your Ex...is he abusive/violent?
Fear of what family/friends/society thinks?

Getting divorced IME is terrifying as I have to face the world with a big 'fail' against my name. But, I've also come to realise that facing that fear and realising that it can make me strong is the best way to go.
Avoiding fearful things makes me small.

Fear of being alone? Fear of your ex returning? Fear of the future?... I think it often helps to crystallise what exactly you're frightened of. Divorce is very emotional and hurtful. It can change life radically and permanently. But identifying what specifically is making you feel 'overwhelming fear' and then breaking it down into manageable, unscary chunks that you can tackle will help you cope.

Do you have RL support?

i do yes, and i dont have a fear issue with h, just about the future.

Hate to keep asking questions but what is it specifically about the future that is 'overwhelmingly scary' from an emotional point of view? Do you feel that you won't be happy again? Find love again? Be able to trust a future partner again? That kind of thing?

generally yes. sorry for being vague, head all over the place.

Was the last relationship abusive, unfaithful or did it just fizzle out for no reason you can put your finger on?

just grown apart really, its really sad.

How long ago did the break-up happen? Do you have friends and family for support?

its happening now. i do have friends and family yes.

i got divorced in oct after 7 years of marrage also have a son 6 with sn ,but been seeing my new fella for ten months now im ok we just did not get on .ex dh and me .

If this is all relatively recent then the best way to cope with the immediate pain and hurt, IME, is to make the most of your good days by keeping busy, active and sociable with family and friends... and to be kind to yourself on the bad days by doing whatever you need to do to keep going, getting plenty of rest, taking vitamin supplements if you're not eating properly You originally asked for a book but, again IME, it is very difficult to concentrate on a book when your brain is going at 90mph rattling through all the unanswered questions and dealing with shock.

NB If you are struggling too much, can't cope, have no good days, and think you may be tipping into depression it can also help to talk to your GP.

What you'll probably find is that, six months from now, you will have more good days than bad days. It's a question of getting from now to then in as good shape as possible. Good luck

Thanks for your replies x

I'm reading 'Too Good to leave, too bad to stay' by Mira Kirshenb.. and 'getting past your breakup' by Susan J Elliot. I'm about to read 'Dont call that man' by Rhonda Findling. Quite a few. I'm absolutely gutted about the end of my marriage. I need all the help I can find.

I am terrified as well. Everyone tells me it will be ok. you're lucky you have family. I don't, just my DC.

all the best to you x