Partner suddenly turned off the affection - should I be worried?

[CaffeineBomb13]

Normally when my partner has a face on with me it shows in his texts. They'll become less frequent, shorter and feature less kisses - sounds daft but I've worked that out now over the months, the signs if you like.

Well this week has been really odd. His texts have actually increased, got longer, tons of kisses in them - but when he gets in from work he's totally different. The first thing he normally does when he gets in is put his arm around me and give me a kiss. Yesterday he put his arm around me but made a joke of it and when I went to kiss him he turned his face so that I kissed his cheek!! If I go to hug him in the kitchen or whatever like I normally do (or he does me) he's reacting almost robotically. Can't put my finger on it but it feels different. We normally always sit together on the sofa hugging - past few days he's not come near me. Last night about 11pm he seemed to realise he needed to make an effort and sat next to me (after spending the night at the other end of the sofa) but it seemed forced and didn't last long.

We went to bed. He started to kiss me but only because he wanted sex. We had sex - normally he'll hug and kiss me for ages afterwards, last night he left his arm out in a piss-poor attempt at 'hugging' me and turned his face away when I went to kiss him!! Night before I went to stroke his belly during the night and he moved my hand off him and turned away from me. I thought he was asleep but realise now that he wasn't.

During the night last night I was half awake and knew he was too because of how quietly he was breathing - I felt him touch me between the legs and move closer to me, I reacted by reaching behind him to stroke the back of his leg and pushed back towards him and he backed right off, turned around and went back to sleep!! wtf!?

I don't know what's up with him. Last night I asked him if anything was bothering him. He said no, he just felt a bit 'shit' but said it was nothing to do with me I said "you sure?" and he said "yeah, I'm over the moon, I like spending time with you" Spending time with me??, seems an odd thing to say??

Another thing (so not to drip feed) is he seems to question the relationship over every little thing. An advert came on for that Ricky Gervais thing 'Derek' and I laughed (never actually seen the program) but he got quite upset with me over it and seemed to start questioning my character. Last night DS got him to faff about fixing up a bike after he'd been at work all day for a paper round this morning and then didn't bother going. Of course DP was annoyed, I would have been and I told DS he was out of order and taking the piss but this is the kind of thing DP will question the entire relationship over!

Just don't know what to think right now.

How long have you been together?

Officially about 6 months

As it sounds like quite a noticeable shift in behaviour and habits, I wouldn't be happy either. His reaction to you laughing at something is interesting. I've found in the past that when someone starts expressing new opinions, it's often because they've got friendly with someone who has those opinions. I'd say you have to get to the bottom of why he feels 'a bit shit'...

Six months isn't long for him to suddenly be behaving differently. It isn't ok for him to treat you like this.

Whatever the reason he needs to rectify his coldness or bugger off. I agree with Cogito, it sounds like external influences are at play.

Don't think it looks good, sorry. But better you realise now before you get in any deeper.

Have you posted about him before?

Hi

when I read you post and recognised the symptoms that my ex showed. He out of character, developed a gaming on the internet, he backed off hugging or kissing, (we were for 6 years together a very tactile and loving couple) when asked was there anything wrong,he replied he loved me, that he felt under the weather, the sex stopped, he told me ,could i, please, just give him some space.

This continued for 3 months, I'd had enough, and I told him I felt shut out and, hurt, and if he didnt want to be with me in all ways or at least talk, or go to counselling. He replied he didnt know what it was he just felt awful.

I asked him to leave I told him i was here for him if he wanted to talk to me. Within 2 days he had moved into rental, telling me the house and contents were mine he wanted nothing. I saw this as a gesture to salve his guilt, no contact either way after this.

To this day, 3 months on, I dont know if there is another woman, had his turned, or just had enough and couldnt bring himself to tell me the truth. I got over this, by repeating, I dont want a man who does love me.

My advice?
dont allow him dodge the problem your story could be different than mine, get him into couple counselling? Best wishes, xx

Six months isn't very long, would he describe himself as your "partner" or just a boyfriend? A lot sounds like classic affair symptoms, but it also sounds like the 3-4 month mark of a relationship where you can start to question whether the other person is really right for you.

Is him being offended at Derek out of character? If so, then what Cogito said, but if not I can see why he was put out with you. But I'm judgey like that so assume other people may be too.

How is it helping to start multiple threads about this wanker ?

You need to end your relationship

The End

(just like everyone is saying on your other current thread, and all the ones you have made under different names)

You know what? I'm starting to doubt the man is the problem here.

Could his behaviour be a result of your constant neediness and reassurance? You sound suffocating tbh.

These constant threads about him are obsessive.

Not introducing you to his kids after just six months is quite smart of him actually. Shame you didn't do the same for your DC.

Also, he IS telling you that the relationship is too much too soon, but you are ignoring him like you ignore the good advice on here. You are still too intense.

Just leave him.

Seek counselling for your self esteem issues.

You are starting to sound a bit bonkers tbh.

Oh for heavens sake. Just leave him, and put yourself (and us) out of this misery.

Have you tended to over-analyse previous relationships, would you say?

Hello again!

This is the boxroom woman. Posts constantly about this. Thread after thread.

She won't post in response to this now - but will have another thread next week, have no fear

Oh cross posts with everyone else