I grew up in a very unsettled family. My father was very distant and aggressive and my mother was very aggressive and unstable. Growing up with them both was confusing and really stressful. Often my sister and i would come home to my mum packing her bags to leave, others it was my father and mother screaming and hitting one another, and on really unfortunate days my mother hit us too or sometimes we had the joy of all three things in the same evening. My father didnt seem to want either me or my sister. He never played with us or talked to us or took us out anywhere - it was as if we didnt exist. He fed and clothed us but thats where it ended. He was physically there, but not there.
As soon as I was able to leave the home I did. Since then I have had a very distant relationship with both of them. I see my mum maybe once a year and my father less than this. My sister has a very serious mental health problem (partly because of our stressful upbringing) but we remain very close.
I met my lovely DP four years ago (four years this week in fact). He makes me very happy indeed and he is the most patient and kind man you could ever meet. We decided to start a family last year and we were over the moon to find out we were expecting a baby. The thing I am struggling with now is how do I ( if I do at all) deal with my parents seeing their grandchild? I personally have a very limited relationship with both of them, in fact my father has never even met my DP. My father and mother haven't changed - my mother is still very irrational and aggressive and my father has no desire to get to know me. I would never leave our child with my mother because she hit me as a child, but I can imagine letting her get to know our child over occasional visits (once or twice a year). The relationship I'm most struggling with is my father. I think I purposefully haven't introduced him to my DP because I didn't want to involve him in my life anymore - but is it ok to continue like this when there is a child to think about? Am I just thinking about myself and not what is best for our child? I'm so confused...