Upset by old memorys

[wednesdaygirl]

Ok so been with Dh for 18yrs

I was sexually abused by my step brother when i was 15 and he was 12
Went on for a year, when he came in i pretended to be asleep, he never had sex with me just put his bits over my body and touching my body everywhere
Finally got the courage to tell stepmum (because of my 2yr old sister) she said not to worry he was only expermenting

Just told DH about it in august but he has promised not to say a word to anybody cause it would so upset my dad (who i love to the moon and back)

Just feeling poo about it and it doesnt help that im not well atm so not a work (i work 65hrs a week) and will be off for another 4wks at least so have time to dwell and think

Sorry to hear that and u have done well to confinde in your husband.If u think talking will help u more I'm here.

Thanks choc dont know where to go from here tho
Step bro doesnt know i know what happened
I feel anger
I feel sadness
I feel let down

Given your respective ages, was there any reason why you didn't simply tell your stepbrother to get out of your room on the first or any of the subsequent occasions he molested you in this manner?

I was so shy when i met dh at 19 i had never even kissed a boy or been in a pub

My mom left when i was 6yrs old and my dad met his new wife when i was 7

I feel anger at myself for being so soft

So he just carrys on as normal after all theses years not knowing u no? U would feel that way I don't kno how uv managed to not say something I understand that u dnt want to hurt ur dad bt there is defo a issue that ur step mother jus brushed it off with u.Maybe u should Spk t ur doctor and speak to a counciler.How is ur relationship with ur step mum?

Did your stepbrother stop coming into your room after you told your stepmom?

No u wasn't being soft u told an adult and they let it happen!

Im on anti D's have been for a while

Step mom is a kind person but will move heven and earth for her son and daughter not so for myself and my 2 brothers

My real brother had a baby in november and it took her and my dad 15days to visit even tho they live 10min drive away

Mmmm she sounds lovely! Sorry to be that way bt u reached out to someone u trusted to protect the lil one.

Im hoping it worked
My sister has a close bond with her brother and om thinking they wouldnt be that close if something had happened so im guessing stepmum looked over my sister closely which im glad about

I know u may ov protected her but ur still left with the issue and u have managed to get on with your life that is a great achievement how have u done that? Do you have children?

My dh is my best friend and rock
I have 2 boys 14 and 15

To outsiders my life is a cherry i have lovely children great dh and my own buisness, im a scout leader, treasurer for the school, fab aunt and a good listener just never ever tell anyone whats in my head (except dh)

Well that's good I looked at ur thread because 'upset by old memorys' is wot.I'm dealing with I'm trying to draw a line under years ov mental abuse off my parents.Sorry I'm offloading on u now

No its good to share talk away we might be able to help each other x

Ive never had a girl friend
Not had a mum
So learnt to just get over it, trouble is it leaks out cause its not delt with

I have been with my bf for 4 years and got a 3month old baby thats my good life.Bt my parents are toxic in my life and I think its time I leave them in the past because they cause nothing but grief and bring me down.I always say this my bf is fed up of hearing it bt I always forgive them.I don't want my baby being apart ov ctap familys

I have done silly things in the past because iv been at my lowest and havnt seen a way out.I don't want to let them ruin me anymore

I get you totally
I do feel like shutting the door on that part of the family but i just cant im not strong enough yet and i dont think u are too as i new baby stirs up many emotions, maybe once we get proper sleep we may think better

Wednesday - I can completely understand why you are still upset. I think some of these memories may be resurfacing because your children are roughly the same age as you were. It will be difficult, but when you look at your DSs and and how protective you are of them, let yourself mourn you at that age, who wasn't protected.

I wonder why you're choosing to keep this a secret in order not to upset your Dad.

What about your feelings, wednesday? You matter too.

My mum left my dad with 3 small children (i was the eldest) he has done right by us
He loves his new wife and would be crushed to find out what her son did to me and what her reaction was

As a mother you protect your child i would kill someone for this to my child

If he is crushed, he is a grown man, and he can deal with his feelings.

You were a child, and your stepmom singularly failed in her duty of care to protect you. Her response to you at the time is not ok. Sadly, it is a very common reaction: sweeping things under the carpet. Which left you, the victim, feeling that your concerns were not valid because they were not being taken seriously. Shame on her.

There is a support thread on here for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Unfortunately I could not find it when I searched, but I hope someone else can link to it. There are many wise and generous posters on here who have been through similar things, wednesday, and I hope that some of them will find this thread in order to give you support and advice.

You did not deserve what happened to you. It was his fault, not yours for being "soft". He chose to molest you, and it's not ok. You have every right to be sad and angry.